No more political comments.

I imagine my entries will slow down even more as I want to start spending more time away from the house. I'm going to go to the cottage on Thursday and stay til Sunday. I'm hoping it will be relaxing.

I really want to try to make it out to the house on Grand Manan Island too. I've been having this dream for years now telling me that I have to check the attic there for some reason. It's stupid, but I'm excited by the prospect of possibly finding something interesting. Not sure why this dream started.

I'm feeling good these days. Life is going smoothly. I'm almost suspicious of that, actually, I tend to be a little cynical.

I was frighteningly wrong! The uptight twats did not go all conservative crazy on this election. I'm not really one for politics, but I'm glad about this result. Liberals, although flawed, are a much more welcome result than Conservative. And this area went almost uniformly NDP.

Stephen Harper is an alien. I am convinced of this. A pseudo Christian, bad haired, pompous, ignorant alien who wants to send our country into the same tailspin as George Bush has done with the U.S. Great.

I live in Ontario, where a lot of people are likely to vote Conservatively because well, they are all a bunch of uptight twats who need to have everything just so to make it in this scary world. By just so I mean they want to shove all gays back into the closet so far they are smothered by the mothball preserved coats, remove a woman's right to choose or hell, even be a human being of any value, (out here, a lot of women choose the "stay at home" route and let "Big Papa" take care of them, then bleed the asshole dry when they inevitably divorce) I could go on but why bother.

There doesn't seem to be a Marijuana Party candidate in my riding or they would get my vote.

Just got back from the wedding. It was actually fairly tolerable.

I happen to live within a prime bar zone in this city. So this weekend, they have blocked off the street and are having a "Mardi Gras" themed festival thing. Great. It has attracted many more morons than usual, and as a result, all I can hear is their hooting and yelling, assholes revving their engines, and overly drunk chicks bitching out their guys. If I wasn't so tired I would pitch things at them from my balcony, preferably fresh deliveries from the litter box.

Boy, weekends are fun.

Gonna try to write a few songs with a friend of mine and his band. We'll see how that goes.

I was in a shitty mood today, but nothing a dozen Krispy Kremes couldn't fix. Well, to be honest, they got rid of the shitty mood, but it was touch and go there for awhile on the shitty part. I don't feel like writing. I have ANOTHER wedding to attend tomorrow, this is just getting out of hand. I think all these people should be obligated to invite the guests to a divorce party when it inevitably happens. Yeah, I'm a true romantic.

I think I should empty my ashtray. All the little butts are straining against the sides like a bunch of people trying to escape a lava flow.

That's my "poetic" way of saying "I'm a slob".

I've been a little busy so I've not been keeping up with the blog very well I'm afraid.
Been thinking about auditioning for this independent film that is being shot this summer, I've been going over the audition script, the character is supposedly a real bitch, which sounds fun (and very doable!), and there is to be a lot of improvisation during the actual filming which sounds like an interesting approach. I'll let you know what happens.

Another wedding to attend this weekend. I am getting sick of our stupid human rituals. No offense to the people getting married, but I just really don't like weddings. They are the longest party you don't want to be at.

I need a cig and coffee. My brain isn't working right yet....

Spent the weekend catching up with lost friends which was kind of cool. It's interesting to see where people's lives have taken them. Also a little depressing, since I feel like mine has taken me around the same block too many times.

Today is patio weather. I think I'll find someone to go have a couple of drinks with. Mind you, if we start too early, we will inevitably end up doing Karaoke later, which I absolutely hate yet I always somehow end up there more than anyone else.

Something about true redheads (the Ginger kind) really irks me. Can't put my finger on it, but they just seem like they might be plotting evil. Conan O'Brien is a good example of an evil looking ginger. You just know there is more going on in that head than bad jokes.

My severence will end in the middle of July. I feel like time is running out and I'm going to be forced to look for office work again, specifically desktop publishing and design. It's not that I don't like what I do, but I do NOT like the office environment and quite frankly do not have the personality for it. Just imagining having to get dressed in "business casual" attire and going to work to deal with issues that I personally don't think are very important makes me ill.

On the positive side though, I'll be eating cake tonight. I just decided.

DO you ever think or write something, and then your mind starts spinning with thoughts of "I hope I didn't actually see that on tv, or read it somewhere..."

I'm preoccupied with the idea that there might in fact only be so many original thoughts available out there, then we have to start recycling. That's ok, at least if it happens to me, I'll be doing my part for the environment.

One more thing. How long is too long to keep a joke alive? I think if it's just an average everyday joke, it should die very quickly. If it's at the expense of a friend or acquaintance, it's life span immediately becomes indefinite.

I've decided that whenever someone nags me or points out something that I'm doing that does not meet their approval I will respond with "That's what I do". This response is great for a couple of reasons. It shuts them up AND it annoys them, which I find very satisfying.

I woke up today feeling sexually aware. O.K., I guess that is a polite way of saying horny. Let's just say if I were a guy, I would have had a raging hard on. I've noticed that since I've stopped thinking about my ex, I'm starting to believe in sex again. I'm not about to complain about that. That's all I'm going to say about it though, otherwise this will sound like an episode of Oprah or Dr. Phil, two of the most damaging programs ever.
Everytime you blame someone else for your damage and then "develop the strength to overcome it", you are one step closer to being a tv talkshow guest, and no, that's not a good thing.

I wish my gay friends would stop telling me about their sexual escapades. The stories those boys tell me are HOT, but it's kind of awkward to admit you're being turned on by your friends.

Haven't posted for the last couple of days because it's just been too damn nice out to stay in. Having said that, I think I'll post more later, I'm tired and honestly, I don't have anything to say. In fact, you've just wasted a couple of minutes of your life reading this post about nothing at all...

Now that I've realized that the ads displayed at the top of my blog are based on key words pulled from my posts, I'm going to occasionally try to encourage certain types of ads to be displayed. Let's try this: I have Hemorrhoids and am constipated.

God I'm immature.

Life would be easier if everything were on casters.

When you have money, you get to be an asshole. It's expected. A poor asshole is just that. A rich asshole gets to be powerful. I'd like to be an admired asshole. Right now, I think I'm just a commonplace asshole. No, not asshole, just ass.

I'm looking forward to the Belmont Stakes today. Horse racing is one of the few sports I'm interested in, primarily because I like horses. I also like Boxing, primarily because I like seeing guys pound the crap out of each other for no good reason.

Ugh! I had a dream last night about this guy from highschool. He was freckly and always wore these shorts that were rather wide around his legs. He would always sit down in front of us oblivious to the view he was providing. As a result, he quickly earned the nickname of Big Red.

I suppose Big Red might have become a hit with the ladies in his later years due to his package, but I could never get past all the freckles.

I've participated in a few Yahoo message boards today... ranging in topic from minimum wage and employment, Republicans vs. Liberals down to Marijuana use. In summary... most republicans seem to feel that minimum wage jobs are for losers (but those that are unemployed are also losers, go figure), liberals are chickens and marijuana is bad.

Now really what do you think? A chicken for every pot, or pot for every chicken?

I suppose I should really step up my job hunt. It's difficult to be motivated while still living on severence pay. Not only that, but I really don't want to ever be in an office again, pretending to care about my co-workers and their daily gripes. You see, I'm the kind of person who likes to go to work, get my work done and go home. I don't share the details of my personal life at work, and I don't want to hear the details of others lives. I don't think this is cold, I just think it is honest. Small talk is a waste of time. Phony too. On the other hand, I post the details of my life here, so maybe I'm a hypocrite. Oh well, I could be a hypochondriac which would be worse. There is always a hypochondriac in every office, and how many times can you nod sympathetically at someone?

"It takes a village to raise a child" - Bullshit. Don't crank out your devil spawn and then expect me to care. If it takes a village, then I'm moving to a hermit's cabin in the mountains.

I really hate blogs about people's weight loss. I doubt anyone gives a crap about how much granola you ate today and seriously, we all know that you are secretly packing the pork chops onto your wobbly wonk thighs late at night.

However for those of you into diet blogs I've had so far today:


Breakfast

3 cigarettes : Benson and Hedges Ultra Mild 100's - Calories - O Years removed from life: .3
1 cup of coffee and counting

Nope, it's not working, my ass still jiggles.

Man I love Queer as Folk. That Brian is a total turn on. The more rotten he is the more I like him. Not sure what this says about me really...

What I want to know is, does anyone really give a good goddamn about the ten commandments anymore? And did I just break one in that last sentence?

We had some truly wicked storms today, vicious winds, hail, you name it. The result however, was this rainbow. I'm guessing somebody else will beat me to the pot of gold.

I found this photograph caught in the door of the garbage chute today. I have no idea who they are, but I know they don't live here. They look like they would be named Erin and Katie to me. Actually, they look pretty annoying.

I think I would have thrown out their photo too, only I would have made sure that it went down. Wait, I DO have the opportunity to do just that...