The All Inclusive Vacation

I don't understand the appeal of the all-inclusive vacation. Why pay so much money to completely miss taking in any culture?

Hey, here's an idea, for $4000 I will fill up my living room with sand, hook up a heat lamp, fill up a wading pool with warm water, play a CD of Guantanamera and other resort favorites, have my friends appear periodically to drunkenly ramble at you AND keep you drunk constantly (your drinks WILL have paper umbrellas and be served in tacky themed glasses) for a week. If you call me at the last minute, I can arrange all this for just $950. Any takers?

Aargh

I am not a morning person. I'm pretty sure I never will be.

Yes! I Remember Now

that damn Balki came from Mipos. God how I hated that idiot.

What Would Jesus Do?

I saw a bumper sticker today that read "One man can make a difference. Jesus did."

O.K. exactly how did Jesus make a difference? A positive one I mean? I happen to be very much against organized religion, finding it to be extremely divisive and giving people free rein to be as bigoted as they like in the name of God. I'm disgusted by people who look down on others and use religion as a reason. I'm pretty sure that it doesn't say anywhere in the bible that going to church and thumbing through this book gives you the right to place yourself up on some sort of self-righteous pedestal. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's the opposite and that God or Jesus or whatever it is you want to believe in would be pretty offended that you think you are good enough to do his work for him. I find it hard to believe that Jesus would hate homosexuals, but many supposed Christians would have you believe just that. I thought that it was human nature to err, but I guess forgiveness and tolerance are words only and don't have any place in the real world as far as the average Christian is concerned.

I believe in spirituality. I think that you reap what you sow as it were. If you put good things out, you are bound to get good things back. These good things don't include humiliating women outside of abortion clinics or condemning homosexuals to hellfire. They also don't include making other people feel shameful for their choices in life. I can't understand how anyone who proclaims to be religious can do any of the things I've mentioned and feel good about themselves. I think religion tends to attract people who feel bad about themselves and their own choices, because it seems to be human nature to build ourselves up by knocking someone else down.

What would Jesus do? It's hard to say, but I don't think he'd feel very good about the things that go on in the world in his name. Jesus is not an alibi for bad behaviour. Hate is not spiritual. And I will remain steadfastly non-religious as a result.

Cohabitating

So Tom is in the process of moving in. So far, it's going really well and having someone else around is actually really nice as opposed to being irritating, which I thought might happen having become accustomed to having the space to myself. He's much tidier than me, so this is a good thing for me too as far as keeping the place neat and tidy. I've realized that having him around has helped me realize the biggest problem in my last relationship was the difference of common goals, not communication, which is a relief because I always thought communicating was something I was pretty good at. It seems Tom and I have lots of common goals and future plans and for the first time in ages and ages I actually feel happy. It's a cool feeling and good for the sanity.

It's a miserable ass night, and I really don't have anything in particular to talk about. Mostly, we have been working and playing video games and just hanging out being sluglike. It's a good thing to do really when the weather starts to turn really cold.

Starting to plan the annual Christmas Party. I'm thinking about starting a pool based on what Trevor will break and what time the first item will be broken at. It's a sure thing.

Stupidity Has it's Rewards

From a News article on Yahoo:

"The scammers built Web pages designed to look like an EarthLink-affiliated site, then sent e-mails to EarthLink customers, prompting recipients to offer up their private financial data and Internet account passwords. Every time the company shut one site down, another would pop up.

They earned their name by redirecting Web surfers who stumbled onto their half-built pages to the site of a German goth rock band."

Come on, at least they got to see the German Goth Band, that's got to be worth something, right? ; )

The Sensual Pleasure of Supersampling

We bid on and won a Lomo from Ebay. It's this cheap little camera from Russia that has no batteries (you wind it) and no flash. Basically, the shutter just stays open for as long as neccessary depending on the lighting of your subject. As a result, you tend to get very bizarre results. It's supposed to be especially fun to take nighttime photographs. The particular model we are getting (the Supersampler) is multi lensed and takes 4 sequential shots on a single photo.

I think it was kind of a trendy thing to get hold of, but I think that it may be passe now, which is probably why I want one.

Hurry up and get here already you damn camera!

Just A Thought to a Mystery Caller

If you know it's late enough that you need to block your phone number, don't you know that it's too late to be calling me at all?

Money

I paid the bill. I'll be back after all. I probably shouldn't have shared my poor financial situation, since actually, it's looking up.

A Brief Hiatus

I'll probably not post or even be online for a few days or so. O.K. it's not so much a hiatus as I have a small problem with paying the bill until then and likely won't have access. Damn.

Some People Just Don't Get It

I was sorting through some old magazines and found a Details from the mid 90's with an article about Michael Alig in it. This made me think "I wonder if he still posts shit from jail on his website?" so naturally I went to look. I decided to check out the guestbook. Lots of moronic fawning like the following:

"What's up! well me and a few friends saw the movie Party Monster and we loved it. i thought it was cute."

Cute? You thought it was cute? O.K. something is wrong with that statement. I doubt even Michael himself would feel that the story of his rather fucked up and tragic downfall represents anything near cute. I suppose the fact that Macauley Culkin played Michael and FEZ played Keoki and that short elfy dude played James (and crap isn't that Ricky from My So Called Life playing Angel) might remove any sort of association with reality and make it seem glamorous and well, cute, but this isn't a movie review. I mean clothes might be cute, people might be cute, but the REAL LIFE story of drug addict turned murderer is NOT cute, no matter how fabulous the outfits might have been.

Humans worry me.

Hanging myself on a telephone wire

I seem to have lied about the writer's block.

Prozac and White Wine and Pretty Pics and Internet Fans

that's what little girls are made of.

I realized today that needy blogs are beginning to bore me. You know the type, typically written by attractive girls with a bit of poet inside, tragic with a hint of The O.C. cool (which use to be Melrose Place cool, which use to be Beverly Hills 90210 cool...), even though they would never admit to watching that show (and maybe they really don't because they are too busy being out there) because it's not the right kind of cool, the kind you get by hanging out in the bars that are two steps beyond happening but always in tune with those that refuse to admit they are in the know which really means they DO read US magazine, even if it's only in waiting rooms and checkout lines. Sometimes the posts don't even make sense, but the readers fawn all over the comments pretending to get it, because to admit you don't get it would be like admitting you were the kid in grade school everyone beat up and teased, like admitting you had never been drunk and rambled on beautifully with mascara running down your face.

I read a couple of blogs like this, and I guess what made me decide they were a bore was the fact that today I realized they all sound like they were written by the same person. There is no personality behind the writing, only persona, and I think there is a big difference. Even the risque pictures are cold and bland and reveal little except a desire to tease and titillate an audience who would never admit it all means nothing. I read quite a few blogs and the ones I really enjoy reveal personality, a bit of a glimpse of someone else and that's what makes them interesting.

This post means nothing too. The difference is I know it. I'm also not afraid to show you who I am, and even if it doesn't matter to you, it matters to me, because I don't want to be one of those girls although honestly if I did it still wouldn't matter, I'm nowhere near as artificially "t.v. style" cool as I need to be and I don't hang around in the right bars and I don't look like a tragic artiste and yes my friends are all crazy and some are musicians and some are artists but some work in banks and other serious jobs and that right there means I can never be one of those special blog girls who everyone thinks has the answer to the world in their bottle of prozac or Zinfandel or whatever the hell it is the kids are taking these days to get out of bed in the morning.

So I think it means I will stop reading those girl's blogs because they make me feel bad about myself the way magazines make other girls want to throw up every meal in the toilet.

Just kidding. But the reality is I'd be too lazy to keep up the facade. And I get drunk too, but I don't pretend it means I'm brilliant or present drinking as some sort of romantic, mysterious and oh so clever and "aren't I just like the famous writers of yore" accomplishment because even if it helps the brilliance come out it also ends up suffocating it and then people don't care what you have to say, they shake their heads and cluck their tongues after you walk away and wonder what happened to you, talk about the stupid things you did and not in a good way, wonder why you stopped letting life be fun and if the reason why is because you have problems well hell, we all do, so DO something about it or shut the fuck up because it's not cool anymore, we covered that in the 90's and it's not even time for a revival yet, it's just depressing and who needs extra depression these days?

This sounds bitchy. But I really think when you try too hard to be hip and cool and crazy you just end up sounding like an mtv special about crazy celebrities and not even the good ones.

I am experiencing

complete and total writer's block. There also happens to be red wine on my keyboard. I'm a bit of a klutz. Sometimes I get into these moods where I don't feel like saying or writing a damn thing. I think I feel one of those coming on. I'm going to try to avoid it for a change.

It Doesn't Really Make It Look Longer

just creepier. I watched some porn today and all I can say is this: men who shave off all their pubes look nasty.

I knew I Was 2 Dimensional

If you are ever really bored and have as much time to fart away as I do, you can try making yourself into a Sitepal animated character like I did.

Haiku to Tom

spicy dinner, yum
mad dash to the toilet, ugh
shit and Glade don't mix

I Want It Painted Black

photo by Austin Young

Once upon a time, I really thought Skinny Puppy was the shitz. I spent nearly my entire highschool career worshipping all that was dark, defiant and distinctly Puppy. It tapered off a little through college and when the band broke up in the mid 90's I thought that was it.

So I was listening to them in the car today, and Tom asks me "are they still a band?" I said "no". However, I started thinking about it, looked them up and discovered I was wrong. Not only are they a band again, they are playing here on Wednesday. How bizarre! It also turns out they have a new video available on launch. You can see it here.

Hey when a "freak" band can incorporate breakdancing into it's video, I'm there.

Women, What Is Wrong With You?

I cannot stand this Bridget Jones crap. I cannot stand obsessing about weight (and golly gee, Renee "gained" weight so she could play "heavy" at what, 130 lbs tops? Give me a break) and age and men and griping about mom and all the other stereotypically female shit that goes on in the world of Bridget Jones. And now, everytime I use the computer, in one way or another I am bombarded by vacuous depictions of Bridget Jones via Renee Zellweger who seems to convey the inner personality of this Bridget Jones twat through a series of wide-eyed, semi-retarded and nearly drooling facial expressions.

"Oh haha look, Bridget can't ski, walk, talk, fuck, do her hair etc. etc. etc."

No but she sure can whine a lot. What the fuck is a singleton? Oh wait, I know, it's a single simpleton, of course.

I'm not even going to start in on Hugh "Pantywaist" Grant.

How Did The Cuckoo Become Associated With Crazy?

I hate how there is that fine line between being "cool" crazy and just being crazy and how landing somewhere on that line can mean you are actually not interesting at all. Think how things can go either way, you might land a well-paying job that makes you a celebrity if you seem crazy or you might land in the loony bin eating checkers and drooling over your toast.

Cool crazy is actually kind of boring I think, because I suspect it takes a lot of work and energy to uphold it. It also tends to be based on giving the people what they want, whereas real crazy doesn't give a fuck what anyone wants. I also imagine that cool crazy is really just addiction disguised as genius, and that sort of thing can be hard to keep under wraps indefinitely. *Crazy on the other hand is probably a pretty relaxing and freeing choice, being as you can spend your days shuffling about in a robe and slippers medicated to the gills and gnawing on those aforementioned checkers. Worst of all must be when you know you are crazy, feel crazy, but are not crazy enough for anyone to want to pay you for your craziness or to even pay the slightest bit of attention to you except perhaps to briefly gawk and wonder "what the fuck is his/her problem? What an asshat.".

I like crazy people. Oh, and the Cuckoo actually is a bit of a fucker, as far as birds go.


* I do not have firsthand experience with the freeing and relaxing nature of true craziness. Therefore, it may in fact NOT be freeing or relaxing. If you do know this firsthand and my assumptions are incorrect, I apologize, but please don't burst my bubble, because if I ever go crazy, I want it to be about pajamas, easy to eat breakfast foods and boardgames.

MOST POODLES ARE GAY!

And this piece of "amazing" news comes from the Weekly World News or as we in the know like to call it "The number one source of news and information in trailer parks all over North America!"


A new study has confirmed what many people have long suspected -- most male poodles are gay!

"The meticulous grooming and sassy outfits favored by most poodles have always made people suspicious," explains Dr. Kip Gobblestock, a sociologist who directed the three-year study of canine sexuality.

Interestingly, the study found that over 75 percent of male poodles are homosexual, while only three percent of female poodles are lesbians.

These findings have led many to wonder if male poodles are born gay or if they become gay due to their environment.

You know what? I bet you could engage a Conservative in a hardcore and serious debate about this most important of issues. Personally I think the headline should read "Most poodles are owned by neurotic and mentally inept women who have nothing better to do than dye their dog ridiculous colors and dress it up in babydoll clothes in a pathetic attempt to obtain the attention Daddy never gave them".

Kip Gobblestock? Hmm... I think I might be legally changing my name...

Yikes

When picking up a lighter and then realizing it is covered in brown stuff that is now on your hands, one tends to immediately think "I hope that's chocolate".

Roll Call

Sometimes I wonder what makes people link to other blogs, what is it about them that they find appealing or who is it behind the blog they enjoy? I thought I'd give props to my peeps (o.k. I apologize for that) on my links list.

Tripping With Brad - Brad is one of the very few friends I still stay in contact with from highschool days. I know him as Glenn. He has been living and working in Asia for many years now in various locations. He currently is in Seoul. He's very funny and takes amazing photographs, always seeming to capture the essence of the subject be it human or architectural etc. You should check out his travel images, they really are something.

Defying Gravity - Derrick is a guy who's blog I discovered by choosing to read it via the blogger recently published list. It appears he has been dealing with a lot of life recently and it's an interesting and at times rather sad struggle to read about. This world is too judgmental about things that really shouldn't be a big deal in the year 2004. I think he'll find his way through.

Why Was Daddy Kissing That Man In The Park? - Another blog I found via the recently published list. It's crazy, drunken and insanely funny at times. I like his outlook on life and his darkly humourous observations and comments. I almost feel like if Bukowski was alive and had a blog, it might be this one. I also like that he is from Montreal. That's home to me no matter how long I'm away.

The True Tellings of a Tough Turtle - She lives in San Francisco and posts interesting photos of people I will never know. She also posts some very beautiful and artistic photographs on her photography site. I love photography and enjoy other people's work, so there you have it!

Vadergrrrl's Rant Page - Vadergrrrl and I seem to have many things in common although I must say that she is able to reach a level of honesty and openness on her blog that I think I have yet to reach. She writes intelligent posts on relevent and interesting topics and always manages to combine wit and humour in an un-selfconscious way .

The Diary Of A Lost Boy - Christopher is quite the personality and his blog seems to radiate that. I never know what to expect when I click over, it might be tons of fabulous photos to peruse or a post of a more serious nature. Christopher (or Kissyfur!) seems to be the sort of person who meets adversity head on and with just the right outfit, and I always enjoy what he has to say.

Top Dog - D is a very good friend of mine who I have known since high school. He is a much better writer than I think he realizes and has a way of telling a story that pulls you in (especially the dirty ones!). He doesn't try too hard to be sarcastic and witty, I think it just comes naturally.

Trite Remarks - It's kooky, disjointed, poetic, rambling, insightful and all of that appeals to me.

Revenge of the Syph - This is a newer one for me, we traded links recently. He appears to be in the U.K. and also appears to have some funky dreads going on. I like his distinctly British take on things. I think we might have some musical tastes in common. Just a hunch.

Robert's Journal - I've talked about this one before. No idea who this is, how old they are or anything of detail, but the blog is a good read in a strangely stilted yet poetic way. Or it could be that I am crazy as fuck.

Live Semen Pellet - I just added this one. It's my boyfriend. He's only just started posting. I apologize on his behalf in advance.

Ding Ding, Fill Me Up!

If you happen to be Canadian, you are probably very familiar with the latest Canadian Tire ads on television. They star one of the most irritating people ever, the Canadian Tire Guy (he might have a name, but I've never heard it).

This dude has got to be one of the least pleasant spokespeople ever. Pompous and arrogant, he basically butts in on other people trying to solve various household/automotive problems and tells them how they should be doing it. Whether it's installing a satellite dish, purchasing snow tires or choosing the right screwdriver, the Canadian Tire know it all is right there to self-righteously tell people how HE would do the job. All with Canadian Tire Mastercraft products.

I don't know who thought he would be a good incentive. I'm guessing the writer of this ad must be just like this ass. That would explain why they don't realize that the personality this character presents is the sort of person people try to get away from at parties or resent having over because someone in the family is stupid enough to be dating them. Oh, and the ding, ding fill me up line? He actually says that in one gas ad. So yes, he's also one of those people who can't stop themselves from saying stupid things just for the sake of saying something at all.

That ad was the best one though. I can think of a million things you could fill him up with, and none of them involve gasoline or his car.

America

The world is probably feeling very sorry for you now. I'm not much for politics, but the way your country seems to be going appears to be a definite step backwards. I imagine if you are a gay, poor or even female American, this might be a very sad day for you. I never imagined the U.S. could purport to be so conservative given the trash pumped out of it via tv, radio, movies etc. on a regular basis.

That's all I have to say.

Before/After

Yeah, so here's scene 1 of my house cleaning. Not such exciting stuff, except of course to my friends who have to occasionally be here.

I'd like to get maids in (like Molly Maids or The Maids or something), but I hear they don't actually use very much water to clean and they merely provide the "illusion" of cleanliness primarily through dusting and the excessive use of air fresheners. Hell, I can do that much myself.

I Love Lamp

This is the lamp that I got at the flea market. I call it my old man lamp. I happen to love it.

All Pot Smokers are NOT Spicoli

I don't think I mentioned that we have a pot smoker's cafe in our city. Sad thing is, they are visited by the police daily, and they arrested a 76 year old woman there. I mean come on now, 76? The woman is a member of the Compassion Society, had diabetes AND had an exemption which allows her to smoke marijuana legally and the bloody cops care if she puffs a little smoke?

I've never understood people's fear of the weed. I've never understood why people believe it is the same as or leads to cocaine, heroin and the like. Craziest of all to me are those who drink frequently having a problem with marijuana.

Alcohol would appear to be the more damaging substance. How many times do you go to a bar and see two stoned guys start pounding the shit out of each other? I've yet to see it although I've seen alcohol fueled fights nearly everytime I've ever gone to a bar (and let's face it, I've been out A LOT). I've never seen anyone ruin their career or get fired because of poor performance due to weed, but I have seen a couple of people lose their jobs due to alcoholism.

There have even been studies done on the effects of pot smoking on driving. Surprisingly to some, the results indicated that those who were stoned actually drove better than they had when sober. The marijuana had heightened their desire and ability to be aware of their driving. That's a lot different then the results you see when someone is drunk.

Of course, I'm not saying you should drive when high. I personally don't like to and avoid it. But the point is, someone needs to show me some concrete evidence as to why marijuana is a bad thing, because until that time, I'm not going to change my opinion that it should be legal both recreationally and medically. I'm guessing it's a money thing. The government doesn't think they can make enough cash to bother. They know that nobody is going to believe government grass is any good. In the meantime, we are all free to kill ourselves with the cigarettes and booze that those fuckers tax so much they make a fortune off of the addictions.

Yeah, cheers!

Hot, Hung Boys Are Waiting For YOU To Call Now!

My friend D wrote a very dirty and apparently very true little story on his blog the other day and quite frankly, I think he's missed his calling in the porn literature world. If you're lonely, or horny or just looking for a little cheap titillation (fuck it took me three tries to spell that right), click here!

Trevor - 1 House - 0

SO yes, this time Trevor managed to break the glass door to my stereo stand. I really would have preferred a wine glass breaking to this, but what can I say, it happened. He has a cloud over his head I guess, the kind of cloud that gives you slippery fingers and the ability to break anything that can possibly be broken.

Halloween was a non-event of sorts, we didn't end up going out anywhere and costume plans died early. On the plus side though, I don't have a hangover today as a result of having chosen to stay in.

Tom and I have a ton of work ahead of us, enough to keep us busy to Christmas I guess. After that, he wants to take a vacation and drive out to British Columbia for an extended time. I'm a little leery of so much driving in January as I am sure the weather will be questionable, but I'm guessing I will probably go. We want to go to New Orleans as well, but I doubt we will make it part of this vacation as honestly, that would require almost a month to do properly by car.

I refuse to fly, if you are wondering why we would consider doing this by car. It's not because of 9/11 as I refused to fly before that. It's not because I've had a bad experience, because I have flown before and nothing in particular happened. It's because I have these dreams.

I don't have them all the time, but when I do, they are detailed dreams about plane crashes. Detailed in that I can describe the plane, the circumstances surrounding the crash, and often, details about the landscape and location of the crash. This wouldn't be such a big deal except for the fact that each time I have one of these dreams, within 24 hours a plane crash fitting the description of the dream occurs somewhere. I have had 2 of these dreams in the past month, both of which happened. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I had taken to sending D an email or giving him a phone call to provide the details so that someone would know about the dream before anything happened for real.

So yeah, I refuse to fly, and nobody is going to be able to change my mind about it.