without a cigarette. This is a major accomplishment for me, since I'm one of those pathetic idiots who started smoking as a young teenager and have pretty much smoked ever since.
I still have moments where I could definitely kill someone for a butt. But I think it will be worth it.
Why do they call it cold turkey? Personally, I like cold turkey.
Friday, April 29
Thursday, April 28
I'm Not a Health Professional
but I'm really confused by bloggers who write exclusively about their depression, mental problems, bi-polar issues, etc. I mean, honestly, it seems like they really enjoy being in that state and will do anything to be validated within it. I've known a few people with problems like manic depression and the like and believe me, they were too caught up in the difficult reality of living with it to sit around talking about it and seeking feedback about how they were ok even though they acted like a royal asshole or imbecile or anti-social jerk. As a result, they were generally treated as "normal" (whatever that is), because they didn't go out of their way to make a big deal of it. Why not? Because that was their normal existence.
Yeah, I think mental illness is over diagnosed and I think people (especially women) really use it as a crutch to not get on with their lives and fix THEMSELVES.
Like I said, most truly "crazy" people don't sit around analyzing themselves on a blog. Some write truly brilliant, inspired, kooky things that are fascinating to read. But those are few and far between and don't usually come with a big warning sign that screams PROZAC USER, SAD PERSON WHO NEEDS YOU TO BE NICE. Sad, really. I mean here is an excerpt from a blog like this. I apologize to the writer, but only slightly, because after all YOU put it out there.
"A few weeks back, I met someone who got nervous around me after I mentioned I am taking prozac. I expected a bit more sense from someone who works for the Army.
Some people are downright rude, treating you like a retard as though I dont have enough sense to understand they are treating me like crap. I am depressed not intellectually challenged.
Some people go out of their way to be nice to me but unfortunately thats a rare occurence."
O.K. Why are you telling someone you just met you are on Prozac? Maybe they treat you like a retard because you retardedly spew out your "problem" right off the bat and then quizzically stare at them waiting for them to "treat you nice"? Don't you feel like a freak when people "go out of their way to be nice" because they feel sorry for your pathetic ass? No? Of course not, because even in this short excerpt, I can see that that is the reaction you are after. That and the multitude of ALL female comments saying "yeah, me too!"
That's all. I might have an anger problem. I'll be waiting for you to be nice to me. Or else.
Yeah, I think mental illness is over diagnosed and I think people (especially women) really use it as a crutch to not get on with their lives and fix THEMSELVES.
Like I said, most truly "crazy" people don't sit around analyzing themselves on a blog. Some write truly brilliant, inspired, kooky things that are fascinating to read. But those are few and far between and don't usually come with a big warning sign that screams PROZAC USER, SAD PERSON WHO NEEDS YOU TO BE NICE. Sad, really. I mean here is an excerpt from a blog like this. I apologize to the writer, but only slightly, because after all YOU put it out there.
"A few weeks back, I met someone who got nervous around me after I mentioned I am taking prozac. I expected a bit more sense from someone who works for the Army.
Some people are downright rude, treating you like a retard as though I dont have enough sense to understand they are treating me like crap. I am depressed not intellectually challenged.
Some people go out of their way to be nice to me but unfortunately thats a rare occurence."
O.K. Why are you telling someone you just met you are on Prozac? Maybe they treat you like a retard because you retardedly spew out your "problem" right off the bat and then quizzically stare at them waiting for them to "treat you nice"? Don't you feel like a freak when people "go out of their way to be nice" because they feel sorry for your pathetic ass? No? Of course not, because even in this short excerpt, I can see that that is the reaction you are after. That and the multitude of ALL female comments saying "yeah, me too!"
That's all. I might have an anger problem. I'll be waiting for you to be nice to me. Or else.
People fall behind on things
Sometimes it takes a little extra time to make payments due to circumstances beyond your control. Why someone thought that having someone call you repeatedly and make impossible demands on you would make you pay any quicker is beyond me. It only serves to make everyone involved angry.
And don't talk about responsibility. Anybody could find themselves at the end of a collection call. You never know. I love it when they ask if you can borrow the money. Umm, yeah of course I can, but I didn't in the first place because I was hoping you would bug the shit out of me. What kind of dumbass question is that?
By the way. Don't call at 8:20 in the morning. I'll just hang up on you. Like I did today.
And don't talk about responsibility. Anybody could find themselves at the end of a collection call. You never know. I love it when they ask if you can borrow the money. Umm, yeah of course I can, but I didn't in the first place because I was hoping you would bug the shit out of me. What kind of dumbass question is that?
By the way. Don't call at 8:20 in the morning. I'll just hang up on you. Like I did today.
Wednesday, April 27
I Can Post
pictures of my cat because I have a boyfriend. So it's not some weird lonely cry for help or something.
He's a freaky idiot. And way cooler than me. The cat I mean.
He's a freaky idiot. And way cooler than me. The cat I mean.
I ain't well, but I sure am better
I think I am surprisingly pleasant on the outside given that right now I feel as though I could happily murder someone with my bare hands for one lousy cigarette.
Tuesday, April 26
It's Surprising
that I even have a blog at all. I am one of the most incredibly lazy people when it comes to doing some of the most simple things. For real. I was thinking that I wished women would scream and shriek less. I mean do you really have to let out a blood curdling yell every single time you run into a friend?
I am a collector of tacky and ugly things. How do you like this wonderful glass? Why am I writing the way I imagine someone named Mortimer might talk?
I have not had a cigarette since Friday morning. I am ready to climb the walls. I want to quit though, especially since you can hardly smoke anywhere. For example, at G.P.Grumpy's, you had to join the Heritage Bicycle Club of North America for a $1.00 in order to be able to smoke. I just visited their webpage for the first time. The Mission Statement is kind of fucked. What sort of "club" have I joined?
My hobby is eating. This morning I am having a cold left-over pork chop and some bacon for breakfast. Just because Tuesday seemed like an "eat pig" kind of day, even though bacon smells like Sunday morning. The best part of the meat is the fat.
What's up with that Josh Groban dude?
I am a collector of tacky and ugly things. How do you like this wonderful glass? Why am I writing the way I imagine someone named Mortimer might talk?
I have not had a cigarette since Friday morning. I am ready to climb the walls. I want to quit though, especially since you can hardly smoke anywhere. For example, at G.P.Grumpy's, you had to join the Heritage Bicycle Club of North America for a $1.00 in order to be able to smoke. I just visited their webpage for the first time. The Mission Statement is kind of fucked. What sort of "club" have I joined?
My hobby is eating. This morning I am having a cold left-over pork chop and some bacon for breakfast. Just because Tuesday seemed like an "eat pig" kind of day, even though bacon smells like Sunday morning. The best part of the meat is the fat.
What's up with that Josh Groban dude?
Friday, April 22
Why the Hell
is Amon Tobin doing a gig in Winnipeg this summer, but no sign of a Toronto date? WINNIPEG?? What's that about?
I guess I should be glad that that is all I'm annoyed about today.
I guess I should be glad that that is all I'm annoyed about today.
We Went Out
for the first time in ages last night. The first place we ended up was filled with early 20 "emo" types or alternately, geeky musical obscurists and DJ types. The thing I don't like about this type of crowd is that they seem to travel in packs of unlimited number and turn bars into something that feels more like a private "I know weirder music than you do, so I must be closer to musical genius" type party. The boys all look very sensitive and thoughtful and slightly 70's and the girls are all stereotypically lesbian geek looking even though they are straight. We decided to have a shot and a beer and move on.Ended up at G.P. Grumpys. O.K. this is about as far from what I described above as you can get. Very tired out looking clientele, most well over 40 but looking 60 and haggard, a pretty rough looking crowd doing Karaoke. More Jaeger for this place and a couple of pitchers. I hung in there as long as I could, but this place was depressing, and had an air of desperation and resignation that I could physically feel.
Pigged out on burgers and onion rings and poutine and crashed. God, our lives are getting sad, because this was the most fun we have had in awhile.
Thursday, April 21
What The Fuck?
Have you seen these Burger King ads? If I woke up to THAT, it would take about 30 seconds tops to beat his creepy ass to a small pile of mush. With a baseball bat. Or a hammer.
If You Can See This...
you're doing better than me. If I continue blogging, I just may have to change the service I use. Blogger... you're a continual disappointment, I'm afraid.
Wednesday, April 20
I Can't
leave a can of pop sitting around. I'm always worried that a bug will get in there.
swallow my food without chewing it up a million times like a moron.
take showers without sitting down. That's why I take baths.
stand the taste of toothpaste. I've tried many, and the flavours are ALL terrible. I do brush anyway, though.
stand blond hair. Not sure why. Funny thing, my boyfriend is fairly blond.
stick to a workout program. I'm too lazy and it's boring.
drink tequila. I CAN drink Jaegermeister though.
get on an airplane. I find it hard to even think about it. I do love trains and boats.
seem to find that job that makes me want to get up in the morning.
stand the look of a suntan. To me, tans look like the skin damage that they are. They also make people look like they need a good washing.
watch tv without continuously making snide remarks. I suppose that makes me very annoying to watch television with.
stand the theatre. Especially musicals. I'm glad Mama Mia is going to end soon. How many fucking years does stuff like that need to run? How many times does someone need to sit through it?
O.K. I'm done for now.
swallow my food without chewing it up a million times like a moron.
take showers without sitting down. That's why I take baths.
stand the taste of toothpaste. I've tried many, and the flavours are ALL terrible. I do brush anyway, though.
stand blond hair. Not sure why. Funny thing, my boyfriend is fairly blond.
stick to a workout program. I'm too lazy and it's boring.
drink tequila. I CAN drink Jaegermeister though.
get on an airplane. I find it hard to even think about it. I do love trains and boats.
seem to find that job that makes me want to get up in the morning.
stand the look of a suntan. To me, tans look like the skin damage that they are. They also make people look like they need a good washing.
watch tv without continuously making snide remarks. I suppose that makes me very annoying to watch television with.
stand the theatre. Especially musicals. I'm glad Mama Mia is going to end soon. How many fucking years does stuff like that need to run? How many times does someone need to sit through it?
O.K. I'm done for now.
Tuesday, April 19
Thursday, April 14
Magic Fantasy and Adventure
"Lotte World is creating a new life style through various sports, art and cultural activities and is leading sound leisure activities by providing a beneficial space to the people in order to create a rich life of the future."
This is what Disney World is missing. Who doesn't love a black tie raccoon with a gun I ask you? Good, clean, family oriented shoot 'em up fun! With real guns!
Wednesday, April 13
Found This
top notch movie review while hitting the "next blog" button.
"The worst movie I ever seen is got be U Got Served. That movie is just stupid, and everyone who helped make that movie is dumb. There was this one scene that really ticked me off too let me tell you about it. One of the main characters was practicing new moves right, and for some reason hes outside dancing in the rain. I mean come on who does that.The story sucked, the movie wasn't even funny. The only funny part was when the little kid died and one of the crew members started crying, that was hilarious."
Kid's got a point.
"The worst movie I ever seen is got be U Got Served. That movie is just stupid, and everyone who helped make that movie is dumb. There was this one scene that really ticked me off too let me tell you about it. One of the main characters was practicing new moves right, and for some reason hes outside dancing in the rain. I mean come on who does that.The story sucked, the movie wasn't even funny. The only funny part was when the little kid died and one of the crew members started crying, that was hilarious."
Kid's got a point.
I Decided
not to be all depressed and loner like and shit, because actually my grandmother was 88 so it's not like she was cut short in the prime of her life or anything. People always think that it is unfeeling to say something like that but it's true, and if I'm being honest, people die and it doesn't really matter at what age because who knows what will become of your life and for some people living to be really old is probably the shits. I guess I'm just feeling a little freaked out because she died while I was on the way up to see her, so I only got to see her dead, and that was just odd and I don't do well with that kind of thing in reality.
I feel like I am super close to some major revelation about something. Unfortunately, I feel like that a lot, and so far, no revelating has transpired. I just checked to see if that was a word, and it's not, but it is now.
Girls, don't ever use Depo Provera. It robs you of your emotions EXCEPT for the one where you feel like a Monster and steals your sex drive and makes you feel old and tired and angsty and you can't do shit about it for months. I imagine by the time the bad effects wear off, you don't have anyone left to have sex with as you have scared them away with your new, bubbly personality and extra poundage on the belly. Oh, and the fact that being touched feels like a major violation. That rocks the most.
I have some writing being published in Hammered Out. You should buy it or something.
I feel like I am super close to some major revelation about something. Unfortunately, I feel like that a lot, and so far, no revelating has transpired. I just checked to see if that was a word, and it's not, but it is now.
Girls, don't ever use Depo Provera. It robs you of your emotions EXCEPT for the one where you feel like a Monster and steals your sex drive and makes you feel old and tired and angsty and you can't do shit about it for months. I imagine by the time the bad effects wear off, you don't have anyone left to have sex with as you have scared them away with your new, bubbly personality and extra poundage on the belly. Oh, and the fact that being touched feels like a major violation. That rocks the most.
I have some writing being published in Hammered Out. You should buy it or something.
Monday, April 11
Yesterday
I saw my old friend John at the Home Depot of all places. It's been over 10 years since I've seen him, but I recognized him immediately. Even so, I didn't talk to him, it just seemed strange, or maybe it's just that I have a hard enough time keeping up with the friends I have now without adding more to the mix. I'm a bad friend. I know it. It really is that I am just too lazy to do all those friendy type things every single day. I know some people will read that as "self-absorbed", but honestly, I am lazy. I don't even ever look like the pics you see on here. I'm too lazy to pretty myself up most of the time. My boyfriend can probably vouch for that.
He didn't look like this anymore. He had really big sideburns and was wearing a cap that made me think he might actually be going bald. That seemed kind of sad.
He didn't look like this anymore. He had really big sideburns and was wearing a cap that made me think he might actually be going bald. That seemed kind of sad.
Are U2 Hypnotists or Something?
They must be given the number of people that go insane for them. I just don't get the appeal.
I was forced to listen to the radio in the car the other day as I forgot to bring any CD's down. As a result, I got to hear this silly twat prattle on about how U2 had sold out 4 shows in Toronto and if you were not competent enough to have gotten a ticket already online, you would just have to shell out around 300 bucks to a scalper. This was said with NO HINT OF IRONY.
First of all, if you would shell out 300 bucks for ANY concert you need your head checked. If perhaps they had raised some performer from the dead for a one night only engagement, maybe. But U2? The new album sounds like they threw a bunch of reject songs from the early nineties together just to have something released. And Bono is so self-important now, I would not be surprised to hear he's been appointed the new Pope.
Congrats to those who were "not competent enough" to get those tickets. Let's hope your incompetency remains intact and you keep your 300 bucks in the bank.
I was forced to listen to the radio in the car the other day as I forgot to bring any CD's down. As a result, I got to hear this silly twat prattle on about how U2 had sold out 4 shows in Toronto and if you were not competent enough to have gotten a ticket already online, you would just have to shell out around 300 bucks to a scalper. This was said with NO HINT OF IRONY.
First of all, if you would shell out 300 bucks for ANY concert you need your head checked. If perhaps they had raised some performer from the dead for a one night only engagement, maybe. But U2? The new album sounds like they threw a bunch of reject songs from the early nineties together just to have something released. And Bono is so self-important now, I would not be surprised to hear he's been appointed the new Pope.
Congrats to those who were "not competent enough" to get those tickets. Let's hope your incompetency remains intact and you keep your 300 bucks in the bank.
Friday, April 8
Thursday, April 7
In Grade 5
or maybe it was 6 there was this girl named Leanne Pezoulas who got made fun of BRUTALLY. I remember the boys would form a circle around her and chant "rough tough creampuff" over and over while she tried to hit them.
It all came to a head the day they threw a dead mouse at her and she cried. I still feel bad about that.
It all came to a head the day they threw a dead mouse at her and she cried. I still feel bad about that.
Tuesday, April 5
I Just Read An Article
that referred to Paris Hilton as a musician. In response, I just wanted to let you all know that today, I am an Airline Pilot. I mean hey, I've been in an airplane....
Monday, April 4
Do People Still:
play pin the tail on the donkey at kiddie parties?
play spin the bottle?
honeymoon in Niagara Falls with no irony?
love Disney movies?
leave anything to the imagination?
play spin the bottle?
honeymoon in Niagara Falls with no irony?
love Disney movies?
leave anything to the imagination?
Friday, April 1
Hey Kid,
If your mom suggests a "picnic by the lake", I would seriously consider not going. I'm sure she's a lovely person, but she kind of has that "I've reached the end of my rope and these pills aren't cutting it anymore" look. You might have something to do with it.
I'm just saying...
