I walked to the post office to drop off some envelopes for work today and on the way back I saw this mailman walking in front of me. He's Jay.... Jay the gay mailman" started going through my head to the beat of his walking. I actually kept making up lyrics in my head until he went into a building but I've forgotten them. It was a nice song. Jay would have definitely liked it.

I accidentally scared the shit out of a pigeon today. Hoot n' har har.

I'm incredibly bored by the internet suddenly.

I wish I knew when things changed in my head but I honestly can't pinpoint a specific moment, the only thing I think is certain is that it was more years ago than I have a right to blame.

This business of writing isn't really much of a business at all for most of us. I'm truly bored senseless finally by reading about people's oh too typical University escapades, relationship questions etc. Very few people are honest, everybody seems to reveal tidbits about themselves according to some coolness factor that I haven't been clued in on but good because it's a pretty fucking boring guideline in my estimation.


Fuck, how about some honesty. This might be the second time I've gone off on this sort of rant. For example, most of the time I am angry as shit. To the point where it makes my stomach hurt and my head throb. People annoy me and I mostly can't stand being around them. I have trouble maintaining friendships, particularly with women because it requires a level of emotional work that I can't be bothered with. This doesn't particularly bother me. That fact seems to bother other women.

I genuinely don't care about the advice of others when it comes in a form I consider prepackaged and regurgitated. Meaning, if your advice is something I could hear on Dr. Phil don't bother. I enjoy Psychiatry the same way I enjoy reading comics or watching Roseanne but think most people are full of shit when they try to analyze someone.

I don't like having conversations in my comments section on my blog. Lots of times I don't even read them.

So now as usual, I am bored of this rant, and probably the fact that I bore even myself is part of the reason I will never be a success especially when it comes to being El Coolio del Internet and I'm O.K. with that too because I am. If that bugs you, bleh blooh blah. I'm talking to myself here anyway if you didn't notice.


I had the best hair ever once.

Had a christmas party on Saturday. People invited formed little groups and it was kind of like being at a bar and I didn't feel that social so I didn't try to get them to mingle. I don't know why, but I felt no spark this year, I mean I felt like I needed to just drink and drink so that I would have a reason for not feeling very social.

Even so, pumpkins that were still kicking around were carved and neighbours complained. Later, some blonde girl who's name escapes me kept changing my music to death metal. I finally gave up on it and chowed down on some pot roast and chinese food before crashing. I have a habit of just picking up and disappearing when I start to black out.


I paid for that. Woke up in the process of puking my guts out in bed. Nursed a mean hangover yesterday. Thought to myself just how boring drinking really is these days. Wondered why I'll probably do it again.


P.S. I puked all over a library book.

Ugh.. there's this cosmetic surgery infomercial on tv touting botox and lipo etc. and I have truly never seen an uglier bunch of people try to convince me how I can look better in my life. Yeah, meltable people with poppable tits and immoveable faces are sexy as shit.

Fuck, this world is cracked.

so my friend is apparently mad at me for that lovely photo I made of him below. I don't know why, it's obviously not him to anyone who knows him... and anyone else won't care.

I suppose I'll have to make an awful photoshop job with my own head to atone or something.

High school never goes away.

I tried to dye my hair dark brown but it looks black now. I'm also giving myself a gradual haircut. I have pretty damn big ears.

Also I'm addicted to the library. I'm super cool.

Someday, maybe I'll stop sounding like I'm in high school.

I'd tell you what has been going on this past week except what has been going on is NOTHING and who cares because it's boring and yeah.

Mostly though, I'm just in a bad mood and I like to ignore stuff in that state, including this boring ass blog that wastes my time.

Later.

I saw this place called Shawnatron Computers the other day and my first thought was how gay a name that was.

Then I thought I'd give Shawn a break since really, coming up with such a dillhole name is actually kind of cool and maybe he just really likes robots or misses his Armatron or something.

Internet Money Transfer

Top Dog says:
Gawd, can't remember the last time I used it. The challenge question is "who danced in dog pee at your party" so it must have been a while ago
Carly Simon Hater says:
haha
Carly Simon Hater says:
that was great
Top Dog says:
I know, ha ha ha
Carly Simon Hater says:
best use for dog pee ever

Tracey says:
ok.....1. are these really lyrics from You're so Vain - You had one eye in the mirror , As you watched yourself gavotte and 2. What is gavotte?
Top Dog says:
gavotte
Top Dog says:
yacht, apricot
Top Dog says:
um,
Top Dog says:
mirror as you stepped onto the yacht
Tracey says:
this is written on someone's blog... and i don't ever remember hearing gavotte... but maybe i wasnt paying attention... also I thought Bette Davis Eyes said "all the boys think she's a spaz" so I'm dumb anyway
Top Dog says:
no?
Top Dog says:
I haven't looked up carly simon but I'm sure I know the opening lines
Tracey says:
i'm so confused
Tracey says:
is this important?
Top Dog says:
lemme see for sure. There's no excuse for that in the days of internet.
Top Dog says:
yes
Tracey says:
already on it
Tracey says:
I agree
Tracey says:
hmm... I'm seeing gavotte on this page
Tracey says:
what the fuck?
Top Dog says:
it's real
Tracey says:
ok so what does that mean
Top Dog says:
glad i looked. I was thinking that if gavotte is a word I must know it
Tracey says:
and this part....I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee,
Tracey says:
they were?
Tracey says:
I thought it was there were
Tracey says:
fucked
Top Dog says:
http://www.encyclopedia.com/html/g1/gavotte.asp
Tracey says:
I hate Carly Simon now
Top Dog says:
a peasant dance
Carly Simon Hater says:
that's gay
Top Dog says:
one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte....sounds dangerous
Top Dog says:
I'd probably trip and fall
Carly Simon Hater says:
I'd kick you out if you gavotted at my house
Top Dog says:
even on roller skates?
Carly Simon Hater says:
especially

Everybody is a retard. I just refound this book that I found oh back in 1998. A friend of mine used to share a mailbox with this headshop, and I couldn't resist pinching this book left in it. And it is just as gaylordish now as it was then. I remember I had planned to put it back where I found it, but being the hyper critical sarcastic spaz that I am, I filled it with commentary of my own and then felt bad about returning it. O.K. I'm lying, I just forgot. I did wonder what he would think if he paged through it after I was done though.

Let's play a game. See if you can figure out what I added in the samples below.





the first bit is kind of hard to read. It says: "The strength of man is not to be measured in his muscle but in his heart and in his mind.

Emotions taken for granted breed loneliness and heartache which is an unnecessary hardship which no one should have to bare."

ugh forget it. This is a stupid game that is not very hard. Also, my comments are just as fucktwatted as his. See? Retards, one and all.

Roller Skating house parties are totally the next wave on the home entertainment scene.

I just wanted to tell you so that you could nod your head knowingly when you see it on the "What's In" list in US magazine.