when I was a kid, I always planned to be a writer. I can’t really think of any other job I thought I would have except maybe Vet for awhile. There were a lot of other things I planned to do and a lot of things I didn’t plan to do and I think somehow those 2 lists got switched around and here I am now, with mixed up lists and less time than I had then. I can surely tell you that my life goal was NEVER Admin Assistant or assistant to anyone for any reason really and it frustrates me to no end.

So now I’m old, OLD seriously, and did you know im still scared to tell my family things about my life? I still feel like a 15 year old kid and they hover over me and my every decision and make me feel anxious and like I cant breathe and hell I know that’s fucked up but knowing it doesn’t make it any easier to stop what the fuck…

its like I have no courage to deal with my own life and I let things hit me like waves on a beach and if my sand gets swept away well then so be it and if a dead whale washes up then so be it as well and that’s no way to be, don’t be that way ok?

people make me uncomfortable and nervous and although I can always speak eloquently in my head when someone new tries to converse with me I feel all tongue tied and stupid and cant think of what to say or how to say it, man does it ever suck.

Hey I tried to watch Land of the Lost, Stak Attack last night but I fell asleep.