it’s ghetto hick fair weekend, hooray, this fair has been going on forever, back in the day, which means in the 80’s you could win feather roach clips (which we would wear in our hair) and mirrors with images like corvettes or hot bands like Van Halen printed on them, yeah!


umm, yeah, I DID this...

anyway, I like going for the horse shows and also because there are barns full of cute little farm animals which you can pet and pretend won’t get eaten, possibly by you, best of all are the bags of teeny tiny cinnamon donuts fresh and hot from the fryer, oh man, I could eat about 24 of those suckers RIGHT NOW. Tilt a whirl rocks except I haven’t been on that for a long time now and chances are it might make me puke. Plus, have you seen how many tickets they want for a 2 minute ride on a rickety thing slapped together by a completely stoned Carny? I haven’t either, but I bet it’s about 4.

Everything else sucks.