It's Surprising

that I even have a blog at all. I am one of the most incredibly lazy people when it comes to doing some of the most simple things. For real. I was thinking that I wished women would scream and shriek less. I mean do you really have to let out a blood curdling yell every single time you run into a friend?

I am a collector of tacky and ugly things. How do you like this wonderful glass? Why am I writing the way I imagine someone named Mortimer might talk?


I have not had a cigarette since Friday morning. I am ready to climb the walls. I want to quit though, especially since you can hardly smoke anywhere. For example, at G.P.Grumpy's, you had to join the Heritage Bicycle Club of North America for a $1.00 in order to be able to smoke. I just visited their webpage for the first time. The Mission Statement is kind of fucked. What sort of "club" have I joined?

My hobby is eating. This morning I am having a cold left-over pork chop and some bacon for breakfast. Just because Tuesday seemed like an "eat pig" kind of day, even though bacon smells like Sunday morning. The best part of the meat is the fat.

What's up with that Josh Groban dude?