Let's get dumb, drink some Rum

I guess the first time I got drunk I was 12 or 13. My parents had an unusually large number of those airplane bottles of booze in their liquor cabinet due to the extensive business travelling my father did, so it was not difficult to snatch a few unnoticed. We would get slightly drunk in the park across from my house. I still remember going home at lunch feeling all fuzzy and somewhat warm to eat my toasted honey sandwich and watch Gilligan's Island followed by the Flintstones. Nobody noticed my woozy ways, but 12/13 year olds are wonky anyway, and nobody expects them to be drunk so I suppose it's really an ideal time to start experimenting.

I had this "boyfriend" at the time who was 19. I guess the idea to drink sort of came from him. I mostly spent my time avoiding him, as obviously he wanted something far more sexual than I even knew existed.

We moved from Montreal to Ontario, and I didn't get caught drunk until grade 9. They had to come find me wandering the neighbourhood quite loaded and avoiding going home based upon the flawed logic that if I went home then this time they would probably notice. Pretty much all I remember about that escapade is lying in the bathtub eating the sandwich my mother made me.

I didn't puke.