I have a friend who believes there is a race of lizard people (Reptilians) in charge of the world.



I'm not the conspiracy theory type.



I suppose anything is possible.



I'm not a joiner, I don't think I'm very good at being a part of things. I keep a small circle of friends and although I can be friendly, I do not readily admit new participants.

Joining in makes me feel anxious, it's expected and people should be good at it I guess and this makes me feel like I can't breathe and so I merely avoid it as much as possible and so far this has served me well enough although I cannot deny a sense of jealousy I suppose towards those that are naturally social. I'm a tremendous faker I think; once in a social situation I naturally tend to want to take over and probably seem talkative and funny and all those other bullshit things social scenarios call for. Maybe it's the genuine enjoyment then that eludes me. Some people really seem to like this sort of thing and don't feel like they've aged 100 million years afterwards. Given the chance though, I don't think I'd swap places with one of them; it just seems hard and tiring and I think I'd be disappointed. Not that disappointment is a bad thing, I can just think of better things to be disappointed about.