I am jealous of how asian people can use chopsticks so easily, I bet they can even pick locks with them. I feel like Edward Scissorhands no matter how many times I use them. I'm distracted by the asians and their chopstick skills when we go out to eat sushi and I like watching them eat I hope this doesn't make them feel uncomfortable.

Once there was this really tall pale guy we knew (o.k. it was a boyfriend of mine) and we called him Vanilla Chopsticks. We made him lie on the floor with his vanilla chopsticks in the air and read stories out loud from Hustler. When I say made, I mean he totally volunteered.


this is a pic of him that I stole from his facebook. I hope he doesn't mind, but also I guess he doesn't know. I don't think the full vanilla chopsticks effect is evident here though.