the three Amigas? Am I for real? Jesus.

I was reading through my diaries from grade 7 and 8 this morning. Talk about single mindedness… every single entry is basically about which boy I like that day and aching assessments of:

do they like me
how long will they like me if they like me
do I still like them
do I like their best friend better
does their friend like me
does my friend like the same boy as I do
does my friend like the best friend of the boy I like

oh, you get the picture. It covers the important things in a 13 year old girl’s life. It’s actually pretty cringe-worthy and the level of fickle is phenomenal. But you know, if we could hang on to that shallow level of attraction we might all be better off. I think men sort of do hang on to that don’t they…

I was going to copy some of it word for word for you (and I still will) but decided doing so from work wouldn’t be a great plan since

a. the diaries are bright red asian silk and highly noticeable which means
b. someone would be bound to wonder what they were and
c. I am not prepared for the heart crunching embarrassment of being caught transcribing something so vapid while I am supposed to be working

but rest assured, you will get your peek. Don’t get your hopes up though, when I say they are single minded, I am not exaggerating. It would seem that for two years anyway, I had very little on my mind but the stable of zitty, childish, perverse and sometimes mean boys we were surrounded by.

Occasionally I seem to attempt some self-analysis (cringe) and in other spots attempt to validate and or justify my behavior (cringe, cringe) all while writing in a breezy and I’m assuming authentically carefree manner (super Judy Blume cringe!). OH… and my lists of the BEST bands and MUSIC are impeccable! Just you wait!

On a side not, it’s also quite interesting and a little troubling to see that in the brief portion that covers my grade 9 life I have omitted a terrible occurrence and completely written around it as though life were still simply a whirlwind of boyfriends and roller skating. We’ll discuss this later as well.