wandering and wondering

I really think that sometimes you just have to make a decision, a logical decision, maybe one that you don't like right at the moment, but one that you know you will be cool with in the future.  Otherwise, you may find yourself in the exact same spot as you were before, or in a slightly different spot, but with the same feeling.

And then sometimes, logic has nothing to do with it.  I am SO ready to wander, tick tick, it's gonna happen soon, I'm due an adventure or ten, and I'm excited to know what lies around the bend.  If I seem preoccupied with this concept, well I am.  I hate the "groundhog day" life, it makes me panic, life is going, going, gone before you know it, who wants to do the same old thing day in and day out, hammering away at the nail that never goes in, creating dents in your couch just the exact shape as your very own ass, not being alone but ignoring who you are with for the distractions of a technological peek at people you aren't with for WHAT?  I HATE that humans always want what they don't have or long for what they once had through a cloudy and selective memory and things go stale and distractions and laziness take over and we are all guilty of it sometimes.

I've never done anything crazy or spur of the moment on the kind of scale that counts.  Maybe I should just buy a ticket somewhere and then go suddenly, have a real getting to know yourself kind of time.  Has anyone ever done that?  It seems scary but the idea is soooo appealing too.  I really might, and I really might soon.  I'm always talking about stuff, time to DO.

And people do do it you know, they pick up and they wander and they go, go, go and they leave care to the wind or whatever cliche suits your leaving your cares and I wonder if they learn or grow or develop some kind of better appreciation for the things that we normally just take for granted?

Here I am writing on the internet at the same time that I genuinely think it's stolen from all of us some of the very essence of really being human and interacting and LIVING.