Ooh, I play golf. I'm special. I wear goofy out of style "the jock in the 80's movie" clothes and spiky bottom shoes and chase little white balls around even when it goes in the artificial but nonetheless murky, dirty, shit filled pond. You think I'm rich and sophisticated because I play golf, right? Sometimes I do this thing that makes my golf cart go faster than the other guy's... this means I have a bigger penis and can make more babies than you.
Also, you will think I'm athletic even though I mostly drive around on the cart and get drunk in the clubhouse afterwards and laugh too loudly about how I came in under par and I will tell this important news to everyone, oh yes I will, even if it's not exactly true.
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