It's Hard

to respect a guy over 18 who reads Maxim magazine. It really sort of reads one of two ways:

a. My girlfriend won't let me look at real porn and I am a pseudo hipster metrosexual who finds out about new music on the O.C. and I analyze other men's wardrobes and mannerisms in my head and sometimes I try WAY too hard to be manly by being all misogynistic and like "Whoah check out the sluts" and "Tits, yeah!" and I high-five myself in the mirror on my way out at night,

or

b. I still live with my parents and they won't let me look at real porn and I am a pseudo hipster metrosexual... and yeah we've already covered this stuff.



Oh, and they sell fucking hair care products too. That's gay. And I mean that in the 80's way.

*Please don't send me info about the actual Maxim demographics etc., I was an Advertising major, I'm well aware of this. It does not change the fact that big boys don't read Maxim. Or look at the junior high level porn. Christ, read Hustler, or Playboy, or Celebrity Skin if you need to wank to movie stars. So, pfffttt.