Last night I actually did some laundry and it got me thinking. I'm pretty glad I don't have to use a laundromat because if you think about it, they're pretty disgusting. You're kind of relying on the other people there to not be total uggos and wash anything that leaves nasty bits in the machine. Then there is the dryer, which probably coats your clothes with lovely microscopic bits of other people's lives, and by lives I mean skin and stuff.

Last night I dreamed that I pulled a huge tube out of my nose and was all indignant, demanding to know what secret medical procedure had been performed on me as a child and why did I have a tube in me, and an obviously poorly installed one at that?

Actually I just remembered, I didn't do laundry last night, that was a dream too.

O.K., I might have said it before... I don't usually do these things.... but what the hell, I was asked to do this one, so I will.

7 Things I plan to Do Before I Die
Buy a Horse
Find a job I love
Live in the country
Keep a stocked bar in my home
Finish what I started
Stop being anxious all the time
Come up with an original idea

7 Things I Can Do
web design
take photos
make the best meatloaf
rant moronically about moronical things
use photoshop
worry like nobody's business

7 Things I Cannot Do
watch Family Guy
save money
be talked down to
tolerate self-help books
appreciate Celebrity
listen to Classical music like I get it
be assertive in person unless I'm really pissed off

7 Things That Attract Me to The Opposite/Same Sex
humour
Kindness
unique looks
artistic nature
actually, I can't really make a full list for this one

7 Things That I Say Most Often
I don't have certain things that I say, it's usually some bizarre and sometimes nasty toilet talk creation

7 Celebrity Crushes
Johnny Gage from Emergency!
Johnny Depp
Antonio Banderas
Other than that... nothing. And actually.... I don't think about it that much.

7 People I Want to Do This
I guess it could be interesting for anyone to do. Although really, my answers are not that witty or insightful or fascinating. I've always thought I'd make for a terrible interview.

I buy cereal when they give away games with them so right now I'm going nuts because they are doing that again and I had to have Roller Coaster Tycoon and Trivial Pursuit but I only want the sugar cereal so I dig through the boxes trying to find the right combination of cereal/game like an idiot, but I found Cinnamon Toast Crunch with Trivial Pursuit which was better than settling for Cheerios with Roller Coaster Tycoon which I did last week.

I hate Cheerios, they smell like stale piss.

I like looking out at all the other apartment buildings that surround mine at night. Each little lit up window sort of representing a different channel with a whole different story going on behind it.

I just wish I had a telescope, which I suppose would be the equivalent of cable, I only have binoculars which I guess are the rabbit ears of the voyeur world.

But Mr. Rogers told me I'm Special

I find it funny, the way some people think that a blog is some sort of representation of their extreme writing God status, Jeeesus, it's a BLOG for god's sake, take it for what it is, most blogs (this one highly included) are stupid forums for inane dribblings that potentially someone else might find amusing or entertaining or whatever but if they don't then consider it stress relief or something.

I hardly think that choosing some literarily superior (yeah, I'm pretty sure literarily isn't a word, who cares) method of describing your day or your party, or your super cool social life or your sexing the night before makes you some kind of Book Badass.

I might be PMS, but even if I wasn't, I'd still say this shit, because mostly I think other people are pointless morons who care too much about how they come off. Get out of mental high school already.

I smoke too much because of YOU.

It is too frustrating for me to post right now because of the speed of this computer. I probably need a new hard drive at the very least but I CAN'T afford that so phht.

I am about to go to my second job which is actually my original job but which I now hate because my boss is a crazy and rumoured alcoholic who can't remember what she said the day before and treats everybody like they are simple minded on a Salvation Army work placement. Also, she doesn't pay you on time and then says things like "you are lucky you got your cheque today, because I am busy" and sometimes pays people over a week late, how fucking hard is it to get a cheque ready when you only pay once a month? Now I know why everybody leaves.

You are lucky I show up and that is only because I like the horses and somebody has to care but I am afraid it will not be me much longer, you have to be pretty bad to make me want to return to full time office work.

I have the patience of a 2 year old and something is wrong with my computer so everything is really slow. I've virus scanned and defragged and deleted this and that and changed browsers and stuff and honestly it's still so slow that it took about 5 minutes for this stupid blog page to load and I'm used to it taking like 5 seconds so I'm ready to rip my hair out but I won't because it is already falling out itself at an almost alarming rate. My computer is shit, but I have no money for things like new computers or even food for that matter, or should I say food that I want instead of making something up from what I already have.

Yesterday we went to this buddhist pet blessing thing. I'll show you the pictures if this machine ever shapes up and stops running like a fat kid on track & field day.

Sometimes it probably really sucks to be friends with me. Especially if you let me take your picture, because when I get bored, this happens.

Blaim It On The Haim

Dear Corey Haim,

I saw you on an episode of Big Wolf on Campus. I happen to like that show. I thought it was very ballsy of you to play YOURSELF as a vampire and way to bag Lori from Tommy in an attempt to make her your vampire bride. It's too bad they killed you. You are a little bit chubby now though... I guess you've stopped the blow?

I didn't like how in a later episode Corey Feldman showed up looking for you. Dude's been riding your coattails since the 80's... everybody knows he was the ugly one. And by ugly I mean hung out with Michael Jackson. And also I mean ugly. In the traditional sense.

Aaaah, my leg's on fire? Fucking hilarious.

so finally my cheque was mailed out yesterday, so maybe I will have some cash early next week.

Yesterday, I got kicked in the hand by one of the horses. This was better than the other girl who got it in the head.

I just spent the morning trying to get this fucking computer to work properly. I also installed Netscape 8, realized it was a vaguely disguised IE, deleted it and went back to 7. I have no interest in any of the other browsers available, I just want something that works.

Every day I become less interesting. Time to get out of this fucking house again, out beyond work I mean, I tend to get very used to being a hermit even though it depresses me.

I guess I'll charge my batteries after all... pictures are just easier.

My lack of funds is slowly drowning me in a wave of unpaid this and thats... even though I am working two jobs I am getting no further ahead, in fact I seem to be falling more and more behind what with checks coming late and one job only paying once a month and that pay is so shitty that there is really no point. I'm stressed to the point of not eating. This is a diet I bet Oprah has not had to try.

Rock with the Rock

When I walk home from one of my jobs I walk as fast as I can without walking so fast that I look like one of those gay ass power walkers or stupid "pumping arm dillholes" or whatever they call themselves. Anyway, when I do this my legs are usually killing me about halfway home, but I do it so I can get home and have a smoke because I don't like smoking and walking at the same time. I like to relax while I poison myself.

I also felt like a gigantical sow when I got stuck behind the teeniest tiniest asian girl. I had something else pointless to say but I forgot.

This blog is getting dull without pictures, but I haven't recharged my camera batteries, mostly because I don't know where they all are, but also because as I've mentioned before I am that lazy.

I just heard this song "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Poos on the radio. Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of an absolute mental defective listens to this crap?

That song is why I only like going to bars full of OLD alcoholic men and welfare checks. It pretty much guarantees not hearing that kind of wankfull ass sludge.

I'm working two jobs today and only have time to come home, change my clothes, have a smoke and write this. Bye.

10 "songs"

O.K. here is my response to being tagged by Jag.

1. *Mars Volta - Frances the Mute
2. *Amon Tobin - Chaos Theory
3. Union Jack - Cactus
4. *Meatbeat Manifesto - 99%
5. *DJ Z Trip - B Boy breaks Vol. 3
6. Monster Magnet - Look to your Orb for the Warning
7. *Nightmares On Wax - Smoker's Delight
8. *Squarepusher - Big Loada
9. Looper - Mondo '77
10. Old Time Radio - Various radio shows from the 40's

So that's it. I tend to listen to whole albums (that's what the * means) for the most part rather than individual songs. Also, nothing on this list is particularly new. I haven't been hot for any new sounds for a while now.

Date:	Thu, 01 Sep 2005 19:14:02 -0700
From:	"wcmrpublications@aol.com"
Subject:	RE: Sailing the Atlantic
To:	gagecanada@yahoo.ca

Dear Sailing Enthusiast:

We would like to invite you to a free one-year subscription to the West Coast Midnight Run™, a magazine designed for the discerning individual, covering topics ranging from the latest in political commentary, social editorials, comparative critiques on the human condition in the only "superpower" nation on the planet, movie reviews, tips for singles, international cuisine, what's hot in the world of office products and consumer electronics, popular opinion surveys, eye-popping business practices, healthcare pointers, alternative viewpoints and of course exotic feats of automotive engineering.

Sailing Enthusiast? Me? Never sailed in my life. But finding out what's hot in the world of office products? Yeah, that sounds gripping.

JAG tagged me. I'll post my reply when I get back from the cottage.

In the morning, I often chain smoke.

My new time machine really works. I just went back to yesterday as you can see by the date on this post. Not that YOU can tell what time it really is here, so I'll tell you. It's 8:45 am on the 2nd.

I'm going to the cottage.

Want a chuckle? I used to make THIS site. I can't believe it's still up. I've long ago forgotten the passwords.

disgusting is seeing what Americans are saying about other Americans on the Yahoo boards related to the hurricane. I know it represents the lowest of the low in the U.S.A. but shit... totally fucked up. Not only do they not care about the world at large, they don't even care about their own. I'm disgusted. And terribly happy to be a "pussy" Canadian.

I just fucking stepped on my glasses and broke them AGAIN... I do this every year with every pair because I guess I am irresponsible. I need laser eye surgery or something since I'm pretty sure that I can't step on my own eyeballs. Contacts are no good, I end up falling asleep in them and I can't afford the ones that don't stick to your eye when you do that. I also can't afford laser eye surgery and besides it kind of creeps me out.

Now I am holding the right lens in with a twist tie. That's what ALL the cool kids do.