It's 1130 pm I'm lying here next to someone who didn't even say goodnight to me before falling asleep. I can see that sometimes you just have to accept that things will not go back to the way they were and no matter what you do you can't make another person act any differently and so there it is and though I had thought I was good and things were chugging along I think maybe it's time to admit defeat and let him go back to the life that permits Friday phone calls that don't have to be secrets and I don't know what the hell he wants anyway but I'm pretty sire it ain't me. Such is my life. Just once I want to be someone one and only happy true love I wonder if that is a real thing anyway?