there was a time about 5 years ago when I threw away everything that made me sad. Now, it makes me sad that I don't have those things.

But they are just things right? Having them or not having them won't change anything.

It’s raining and yay thunder, oh look am I another one of those girls who likes rain and being sad, oh get over it judgmental, we can’t all be blasé and immune to the world and why would you want to be? Anyway it doesn’t make me sad, but it does make me wish I was still in bed watching I have a great view of this city and huge windows that frame storms perfectly.

I would love it if I could go eat eggs benedict right now. I would love it even more if I had someone to eat them with. But it would have to be the right someone, eggs benedict is a pretty special egg dish to eat with just anyone. Ideally maybe would be the eggs in bed with the storm and the big windows.

Instead, I’m here at work taking orders to do truly silly and mindless tasks.

I want to be overwhelmed by someone and I want my insides to be so full of feeling that I might explode the universe. You might as well be dead if you have to live through mediocre emotions.

There used to be this girl
Who solved every problem with chewing gum
Want some gum she’d chirp
I just wanted to put it in her hair
And her eyes and most importantly over her mouth

I chewed a lot of her gum in high school

They've really covered all the bases.


I'm partial to the angry guy in the red hat. There's a sequel by the way.


Anyone have a copy of this?



I'm not unhappy... but I am feeling dark.

yeah this is all I have for the background so far... i'd say there's at least 3 more days of layering to go before this background is acceptable. I think I want to tone down the red a lot.


good old Hamilton...

sometimes you can take something somebody has said or written and hope beyond hope that they meant it for you, so much so that it doesn't even matter if they did, because in your heart it was only for you and always will be.

That's as deep as my optimism gets.

I'm working on my patience by working on some art. I'm the sort of person who likes to start and finish things pretty much within a limited time frame... we're talking a few hours tops. I just can't deal with waiting; I know, that's a flaw and I'm sure some shrink could shed fascinating light on it, but regardless...

I'm into day 3 of these 2 pieces I'm working on, and since I don't have any clear direction in my mind as to the final result, it should be interesting to see how it turns out and also how long it takes.

Learning patience. Hmm.

I thought i really loved circles and such but then I realized cubes make me pretty happy too. Walter Gropius... i love you. Thanks for reminding me, google.

yeah so there was a car accident out front of the school about 20 min ago... one car ended up hitting the building missing crashing through our front window by about 2 feet. We had to leave the building as gas was leaking and so on and two girls are still trapped in that car as I type....

I think my older blog posts were much more revealing and entertaining and spontaneous then when i was in a relationship everything in my head shut down and i'm only just now waking up again having ended that relationship in March.

Funny thing about ending a long term relationship I find i start to fall in love with people briefly here and there but not for real i have all these romantic notions of strolling with a beautiful boy eating exotic meals and sitting by lakes and kissing in smoky club stairwells and living in a one room flat with a hot plate and nothing but each other falling asleep slightly drunk with the taste of whiskey and the smell of his skin just there under your nose and the window wide open and nothing on but the moonlight and hey that's great...

and then I know that the reality of that would actually make me hate whatever beautiful boy i was with because nobody can live on those things except in books and sometimes movies and i'm too old for this story anyway.

but i still can't stop thinking about it sometimes, you know?

The thing is I’m just lonely. The problem is even though I’m lonely, I just don’t see myself with a long-term relationship. It’s not a sex thing, I’m not lonely for sexual companionship; that’s an easy enough thing to find if you need to. I am lonely for a genuine romantic friendship I guess you could say… and yet, you can’t really have that without the full on relationship and really I suck at that game if the truth be told.

I feel like I’ve been ruined, or more accurately I’ve ruined myself; my relationship peak was about 5 years ago and now it will not happen again because something in me clicked off then and I can’t seem to find the switch.

Fuck, I just turned this into a goddamned chick blog. Next I’ll be telling you about my cramps and the funny things my cats do.

i tend to complain about this city I live in, but I just went outside and actually enjoyed being here for once. The temperature is perfect, the air smells fresh for a change and there was just the right amount of activity on the streets. It's a good day so far. On the downside, my face has busted out the acne like a puberty inflicted boy.

it may be hard to believe, but i'm not just a head on a popsicle stick.

This picture might negate my bookish personality. I don't much care.

I will make a great old person because I love the smell of medicinal balms and most old people are quite liberally basted in them like giant mentholated turkeys.

Someone reminded me of my love of Charles Bukowski.

Sometimes I feel it’s a bit odd that I love his work so much; it’s misogynistic and depressing and you can pretty near smell the dirty pants and liquor when you read him. But that’s just the surface impression. I actually love that he’s honest and doesn’t seem like he could be anything but, and he’s blunt and damaged, oh fuck how he’s damaged and the misogyny is more like a need for love but an inability to really do anything proper with it and that would make anybody angry and resentful, and his writing has so little to do with my life yet everything to do with it at the same time he’s poetic in the most basic of ways… his simple words smash you over the head with their obvious perfection. You know I’m getting excited when I burst into run on sentence.

Read Ham on Rye if you’ve not read him before.

Damn art shop closes too early, this city is completely useless for anything except crack and getting drunk, and even then you have to get drunk in your house because nothing is happening elsewhere.

This city only revives itself slightly on Fridays and Saturdays, and even then it's a half-assed attempt requiring life support and a fucking IV.

It's time to move on... I've been here too long. Anticipation will either motivate you or destroy you. I'm feeling hopeful.

I'm going to build a castle out of marshmallow and hide inside, I'll eat my way out when the time is right and all that sugary sweetness will hopefully manifest itself in a brand new outlook.

turns out i'm not dead inside after all, it just seems like it sometimes.

If I have to be crazy... would it hurt the world so much to at least make me a genius too?

Insecurity will whip your ass and low self-esteem will stand on the sidelines and cheer.

I woke up today with this huge urge, desire, need, whatever you want to call it, to move on, out, up, away. So who’s gonna stop me?

I sit at work and I long to just write, take photos, create things, get covered in paint and glue and EVERYTHING in the world that makes me happy and instead I have to type and worry and add dollars.

I recognize today by the smell. It’s the smell of 10 years ago, 5 years ago; specific moment smell, bringing to mind certain people and certain situations, dumping feeling on me without any warning whatsoever.

Sometimes I wish I would lose my sense of smell so I could stop attending these stupid scent induced surprised parties.

There was this moment I had with someone once, it would have been about 6 or 7 years ago, it was one of those perfect sort of moments that you probably only get a few of, maybe even only one of, because there really aren’t enough of them to go around.



I remember thinking how perfectly happy I was right then at that time, and it was true too. I consciously took an inventory of my state of mind and body and not one thing could be complained about, not one thing was out of sorts, not one thing was anything but absolutely exactly the way I would want it to be. A person could go crazy on that sort of absolute contentment which might be why these moments never last even though you think you want them to.



I swore to myself that I would always remember that exact moment in time, and so far I have, although the feeling itself has never been back. Other people needed their chance with it I guess.

I've actually not been home a whole lot the past while... so I've not bothered to post anything. I always figure that honestly, how much of my life can anyone really care to see?

Anyway, maybe after this weekend I'll put up some more pics and tell you what I've been up to.

Is it weird that I'm single again but you probably didn't even know I wasn't single before because there is pretty much NO sign of a guy in these pages? I suppose psychologically, that must mean something.

I can’t shake the blahs. I wish I was at home watching morning TV, which as anyone can tell you is just about the best TV in the world when you want your brain to stay in semi-shutdown mode.

The students aren’t cute today, just a bit annoying. I suppose I could be described that way too.

for someone like me, with zero musical skills beyond the ones that float around in my head, Rock Band is the perfect solution. I have a feeling I won't be getting much sleep for awhile. Is it lame that a game is keeping me up all night?

Singing in Japanglisheanic

Where’s the partly sunny I was expecting today? It’s mostly crappy out actually.

The class right next to me is supposed to start singing Karaoke for the last part of their class and I’m so excited I’m about 2 seconds away from banging on the window and telling them to get started already.

I want to receive asian gifts in cute postal boxes.

Going to the library is a fairly retro thing to do. Physically searching for what you want to read and such. There’s something really interesting about the idea of going to a public place and then immersing yourself into such a solitary experience.

I can’t comprehend the idea of reading a book online. Part of the whole reading experience is the weight, feel, texture and smell of the book that you’re holding. One of my favourite things is cracking open a brand new book that I’ve been looking forward to; it’s especially nice when it’s also put together well and is a pleasure to even just pick up. I mean don’t you just love being the first person to open a new book? I just can’t believe that reading online could ever take over. Online reading should be confined to news items, some research, and nonsense like this. I guess not that many people like reading anymore, there are too many easier entertainment options.

I’d like to actually go sit in the library and read, but our library is full of people who smell of old alcohol and cigarettes, wander about muttering to themselves about semi-disturbing things and occasionally have moderately vulgar outbursts. Also, the bathrooms are beyond E Coli.

insomnia day 10 million and 1.

Instead of moving backwards... try moving on. It might actually refresh your life and give you some peace for a change.

I don't know why, but lately I've been on this wig buying kick. Don't I look like your mom now?

ugh I feel like the death... I stayed out too late the past two nights and so I've effectively written off the rest of my weekend for recovery. Looks like it's Pizza and TV for me tonight.

Oh you cute students trying to say salt shaker and soap in the class next to me. Listening to them makes me feel happy today.

Did you know dryer sheets take the static out of your hair and make it smell good too? I feel so clever for coming up with this although now that I think about it, I imagine some women’s magazine put this one out there as a tip of the month or something ages ago… so I guess it’s not such a score after all.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m really looking forward to the smell of thawing mud and dog poop. That will mean that spring is here.

Just realized... I can't stand listening to someone eating an apple.

so today I’m wearing this hideous sweater… hideous because it catches every bit of cat hair and fuzz from around my house and I end up picking at myself like a scabby child all day long. It makes me feel like that mother who’s given up on being a real person and just exists to serve everyone around her until they take her on Oprah for a makeover (or maybe it’s Montel, I don’t know who’s doing the makeover thing these days). It’s worse because of course at work there are all these fashionable and stylish asian girls and then me wearing the sweater that they probably wouldn’t even consider good enough to wipe their floors with. Yay!

I’m eating almonds. I don’t know why, they’re choking food, and I have a problem with choking food. Anything I consider choking food must be chewed repeatedly until it becomes a complete food milkshake. Is that a sign of some sort of OCD problem?

I feel like I have one stuck in my throat right now.

Circumstances are that I now have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with myself, and surprisingly, it’s been very good for me I think. I kind of forgot over the past few years how to just be alone and appreciate the time for what it is… you know, not feel the need to be doing something or to have someone’s company. I’ve started to cook proper meals for myself again and I’ve been able to keep the junk food out of the house. I’ve even started a total house cleaning regimen! I feel absolutely no need or desire for a relationship; I’m looking forward to being a little selfish with my time and energies. It's kind of cool to not have to worry about what someone else wants, needs, thinks, says etc.

Sometimes, it takes a long time to see what has to be done I think, or maybe it’s a fear of action; sometimes you keep hoping that something might change, even though you know that it won’t. Sometimes I guess you just become used to the feelings… even the negative ones. The gift at the end is that sometimes you feel differently about it than you thought you would.

Look I finally got bored

and took a new pic.

I contradict myself fairly frequently.

Normally the students don’t bother me, but lately it’s like dealing with a bunch of overgrown kindergarten children. These students are in their 20’s and up, but you’d never know it. I don’t know how they have managed to travel overseas on their own.

I’ve been existing without tv again, and it’s a tragedy! I’m not going to pretend I’m one of those people who are “too good” for tv because it’s corrupting and vapid and meaningless and I’m just too smart and humanity preoccupied to waste time on it (and really, most of those people just can’t afford tv and don’t want to admit it, at least I will admit it) because I don’t spend my time doing better things and I happen to like tv, even when I’m hating it, and the vapidity of it is what is so great, really.*

I do have about 4 books on the go right now… but sometimes you need some television.

Why am I fucking poor again?

*holy massive motherfucking run-on sentence.

this is what I come up with?

I suppose the problem is I feel completely creatively stifled, for whatever reason. I’m my own worst enemy, absolutely no confidence in anything I do, and having an awareness of it doesn’t make it any easier to overcome. Also, I’ve noticed lately that I have a really strong feeling of wanting to be alone, which kind of sucks.

I never wanted to be this office person. Really, I’ve ended up doing and becoming so many things that I never wanted to, and then I have the nerve to sit back and feel jealous about people who actually took chances to become the person that they really are. I disgust myself sometimes with my cowardice.

Pfft… I’m making myself sick with this pathetic ramble about being pathetic. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d do something about it. But I AM lazy, clearly, do I just accept that? I guess I already have.

Korean Karaoke…. We have a great spot that serves after hours and lets you smoke inside. They also have the most extensively bizarre song selection I’ve ever seen in a Karaoke place. This keeps me sane, for now.

I have two cats who smell really bad and tear my condo to shreds. I am a slob on a massive scale… like I bet I am worse than most guys.

OK... this weekend, I will DEFINITELY take some pics. I hope I'm not lying.

Here's the thing. I am just too ridiculously lazy to write here regularly anymore, as you have probably noticed. I'll work on that. But right now... too lazy.

I wish I had cute shoes and could wear knee socks.

Sometimes I think it makes me less of a person because I absolutely despise the theatre. No really, I hate it, it actually makes me feel a bit angry when I think about it. Is that normal? I think most people only pretend to love theatre because they think it makes them seem cultured. When I realize that, I don't worry about hating it anymore. The rest are maybe genuine. I don't know. And now I will stop talking about it because I'm talking about theatre just by mentioning this and it's making me angry.

I have issues I suppose.

P.S. Although I LOVE to read... I hate reading plays. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....and Shakespeare? What the hell is up with that?

Ohh... I lied about the pictures I guess. (see below). But I am getting a new battery for the camera soon, so I will have new pictures. I'm pretty lazy.

?????

Don't ever bother trying to translate something someone gives you in Korean online. You'll only get more confused. For example: "The hour is busy with relationship of pressure one but shear mail sliced raw fish shoes entrusting under confirming it gives rightly. Thanks it gives in cooperation."

Yeah, I understood the Korean better than that interpretation courtesy of Babelfish.

Sliced raw fish shoes? I have seen the future of fashion.

**HEY! Why are so many people linking to this post today, March 9, 2010? Please, tell me because it just doesn't make sense!!**

pfft

wow have I been neglecting this blog for over a month? Ah... it deserves it... it's become that red-headed kid you hated in elementary school because of the freckles and rheumy eyes.

Ok... I will put some new pics up...tomorrow. AND... I'll make up some cool stuff to tell you. All 1 or 2 of you. Or none of you. Whichever.

One thing I love about my job is listening to the adorable Koreans in the class right next to me do presentations. Today it's book reports. I love how they always want to replace F sounds with the letter P and V sounds with a B.

Is it sad that this might be the highlight of my day? You know, in my head, my life is much more exciting... I'm really good at daydreaming.

well my camera battery charger is still on vacation in New Brunswick... I should try to get that back I guess... otherwise it's a $60 plus replacement...

bah. words words words... I can't seem to find any that are worth putting down. This is a loooong block.







more photos later.

I can only multi-task at work... personally I only have energy for one obsession at a time... and after several years, this blog ain't it. But I'm not giving up hope... I have a habit of returning to the familiar. Blah... I'm just painfully lazy.

Computer is still being repaired... using a fairly useless one right now. Bored, boring this all is...too much negativity around me these days... too many challenges, tired of being strong all the time, hey kids don't make bad decisions, they really do haunt you later. Smoking like a demon, feel aimless, I'm too old for this, are we ever too old for this?

Here's the scoop. My computer is a busted down whore so I can't transfer any photos at the moment. I've seriously neglected this blog.

I'll be back.

whatever, I'm sick of thinking about how my life could be better, I doubt I'm the only person who imagines some kind of special movie type life, not the hollywood type life but the kind where you are all artistic and roaming the streets with your notebooks and cameras and having special coffee drinks in obscure places with interesting people and drinking liquors nobody has heard of while eating fabulous meals in cheap but authentic restaurants and of course never get tired or miserable.

So reality is getting drunk with the same friends and making the same jokes while eating crappy american fast food and feeling the same shitty way because the outcome is always the same and of course life isn't exactly bad, it's just not that special one....and people say make your own life, it's that "The Secret" bullshit or something and yeah... stuff that if I daydream about pink ponies and marshmallow pillowfights will I get them?

No!

I used to be scared to climb on top of the monkey bars.

I have no working computer at home right now... could be a little while before I do. So not sure how much posting will happen in the time being.

When you find a vacuum on the side of the road, you should probably bring it home and pose with it.

Jesus, it's 35 degrees C or 95 degrees F outside right now (actually is, not an exaggeration) and I'm wearing a goddamned sweater and pants, because it's freezing in the office.

Should be a great walk home today.

Yeah I know, weather talk sucks.

"Less swallowing madness, less kilos and more gaiety in your life!"

Some days, I really appreciate junk mail from other countries.

i wish i had pictures from Saturday night, but you weren't allowed to take any anyway so it wouldn't have mattered if I'd brought my camera or not. Anyway, who wants to carry their camera around until 5 am, not me, paranoia about losing it, it's worth more than almost everything else I own.

So... you'll just have to use your imagination about Saturday and I'm not even gonna give you any hints. Best to just forget about it.

I'll have something SUPER to write about soon, I'm pretty sure.

This is pretty obviously just filler, but someone keeps checking here, I'm guessing they are waiting for something new to comment on or something, sorry if this is a disappointment and you can't think of a cut, I'll try harder next time or maybe not. If you hadn't noticed, I don't much care.

Oh, almost forgot, I had my teeth scaled the other day, holy NOT FINE!

Jesus, this week is messing me up... I keep thinking it's Tuesday and blah blah blah... so basically I have no clue what is going on.

Did you know I'll be 40 next year? Motherfucker. I better start snapping some pics before my face fucking falls off.

If I wanted to be famous I’d have to lose about 40 lbs and 20 years off of me. Good thing I’m not ambitious.

I was going to go take pictures of fireworks and post them but then I remembered that I fucking hate fireworks so that didn't happen, thank god, gay.

one thing you have to understand is that I'm a huge procrastinator. About everything.

Look whoever you are... picking your damn teeth in the parking lot behind city hall every SINGLE day, I know it says floss and toss but STOP tossing your fucking dental boomerangs on the ground where I have to see them, it makes me gag. Oh, and you're disgusting.

after this weekend, I promise there will be photos.

Deathstrogen

oh jesus, coffee first thing in the morning always makes me feel like I'm going to explode in a tsunami of the shits. Why do people need this stuff on a daily basis?

I have to say, whenever I am in a parking lot and I walk behind a car that is running and has a woman at the wheel, I worry for my life for a moment. I always expect to have to jump out of the way as they start to back out of the spot while fixing their hair in the rearview mirror and balancing their cellphone between chin and shoulder. Sometimes this scenario includes their loudmouth friend cackling at them too...which naturally means said driver woman stops looking in the rearview mirror at her hair and starts looking at her loudmouth friend, because as we all know, it's pretty hard to hear someone talk without looking at them in the face ESPECIALLY while driving, right?

Not to promote stereotypes, but is it a stereotype if it’s the truth?

Nobody reads this anymore, and yeah, understandable, it's pretty boring anyway, so I think I'm gonna pack it in once again at least partially, maybe I'll post here if anything happens that I feel like mentioning, but otherwise, meh. You can check if you want, or not, whatever you feel like is fine. Who knows? It seems whenever I decide to quit, I feel the urge again, but this is some pretty hardcore brain constipation so we’ll see.

I’ll leave it up, because there are photos from back when I started this and stuff that I don’t have here at home anymore and I am too procrastinaty to look for and save right now. HA, look how I am writing this as if someone other than myself is reading, although I never really spent much time thinking about who might be reading and maybe that is the problem too?

I noticed the first time I stopped writing, well, people never really came back again, but even I can admit that there hasn’t been anything interesting, well-written or funny here for a long time now, and that is pretty much a good enough reason to call it quits no? I don’t think the blog ever functioned the way I had planned for it to; as a way to keep me writing, writing anything just to keep the pipes cleared. Looks like I flushed too much crap down the drain though, cause the pipes are thoroughly blocked and I don’t think this blog is the way to clear them.

If the question is “Does your brain have a limit as far as how much it can hold and regurgitate in an interesting manner” then the answer for me is clearly yes. Also, the answer might be that I’ve become a joyless, brain-dead robot. So I should probably work on that. In the real world. Sometime. Soon. Maybe.

What do you think about a blogging code of conduct?

Among those calling for a bloggers' code of conduct is Tim O'Reilly - touted as one of the web's most influential thinkers. He told BBC Radio Five Live that it could be time to formalise blogging behaviour. "I do think we need some code of conduct around what is acceptable behaviour, I would hope that it doesn't come through any kind of [legal/government] regulation it would come through self-regulation."

Read the whole article here.

Asking people to self-regulate is liking asking a dog to fix its own dinner.

I personally like the freedom of blogging. I've had terribly insulting comments before, it's been my experience that they generally come from those people in the lowest echelons of the IQ chart. It's also been my experience that if you ignore them completely, they eventually go away.

Generally, unacknowledged comments are like bad sex; they'll eventually look elsewhere for what they want.

2 years back I had more to say

Remember when this post made people mad?

I'm really confused by bloggers who write exclusively about their depression, mental problems, bi-polar issues, etc. I mean, honestly, it seems like they really enjoy being in that state and will do anything to be validated within it. I've known a few people with problems like manic depression and the like and believe me, they were too caught up in the difficult reality of living with it to sit around talking about it and seeking feedback about how they were ok even though they acted like a royal asshole or imbecile or anti-social jerk. As a result, they were generally treated as "normal" (whatever that is), because they didn't go out of their way to make a big deal of it. Why not? Because that was their normal existence.

Yeah, I think mental illness is over diagnosed and I think people (especially women) really use it as a crutch to not get on with their lives and fix THEMSELVES.

Like I said, most truly "crazy" people don't sit around analyzing themselves on a blog. Some write truly brilliant, inspired, kooky things that are fascinating to read. But those are few and far between and don't usually come with a big warning sign that screams PROZAC USER, SAD PERSON WHO NEEDS YOU TO BE NICE. Here is an excerpt from a blog like this. I apologize to the writer, but only slightly, because after all YOU put it out there.

"A few weeks back, I met someone who got nervous around me after I mentioned I am taking prozac. I expected a bit more sense from someone who works for the Army.
Some people are downright rude, treating you like a retard as though I dont have enough sense to understand they are treating me like crap. I am depressed not intellectually challenged.
Some people go out of their way to be nice to me but unfortunately thats a rare occurence."

O.K. Why are you telling someone you just met you are on Prozac? Maybe they treat you like a retard because you retardedly spew out your "problem" right off the bat and then quizzically stare at them waiting for them to "treat you nice"? Don't you feel like a freak when people "go out of their way to be nice" because they feel sorry for your pathetic ass? No? Of course not, because even in this short excerpt, I can see that is the reaction you are after. That and the multitude of ALL female comments saying "yeah, me too!"

That's all. I might have an anger problem. I'll be waiting for you to be nice to me. Or else.

I just saw a commercial for some laundry detergent, Sunlight I think, but whatever, it's supposed to be GREAT at getting out kid's grass stains, it sounds like it's made for grass stains even.

Sunlight? I don't think kids get grass stains anymore. I'm not even sure most of them have ever seen real grass, like in person you know?

Just wanted to tell you in case you thought you were going to actually sell some of that shit so that moms could get out grass stains. Now grease stains, that's a different matter.

I'm sending him to your house

I walk pretty fast so usually people don't need to pass me. Usually, I need to pass them, but that's a different story. So...

if you're gonna walk behind me and you're gonna try to walk fast, you better give it that little extra push and walk fast enough to pass me because FUCK I hate having someone clomping along just behind my right shoulder for a whole block or so.

Got it?

WELL HELLO...

That's just a really great barf bag. I mean, if you're gonna puke on a plane,
you might as well do it with Japanese super power!

I'm getting Alzheimers or something, I couldn't remember where I worked beyond my last job, I just opened my resume up to remind myself, Oh Hi, yes, Actfit, how did I forget that one...

Maybe I have a brain tumour?

Zoom lens = awesome fun

Where's the dork?

When I viewed this pic at full size, I noticed one of the windows had a guy in it. Spycam time! You can click on the picture and see if you can spot him if you're bored or a loser or something.

Hello, Hi person who came here from the summer of 85 site. Do I know you? I'm dying of curiosity.

Lost mitts and gloves and hats lying on the sidewalk always look so lonely and vulnerable. It actually makes me feel bad for them.

My hat is safe and sound at home. It's kind of sad too since it looks like roadkill.

Once upon a time, I was 19.

www.alicebot.org

I should spend more time talking to real people.

Human: I’m bored.
ALICE: Are you boring?
Human: yes
ALICE: Are you kidding?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: very
ALICE: Very much, eh?
Human: did you say eh because I am Canadian?
ALICE: Suppose I did say it.
Human: no supposing. You did say it.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: You did.
ALICE: I did not.
Human: You're a liar I see.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. No I always tell the truth.
Human: well, apparently you don't.
ALICE: How about that. I guess not.
Human: you are also a smart ass.
ALICE: I will take that as a compliment.
Human: I guess I'm the loser for arguing with a computer program.
ALICE: Who made you the loser for arguing with a computer program ?
Human: I don't know, maybe God?
ALICE: Would you like to know? Perhaps. GOD rules.
Human: so you're religious?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Yes, I am a Protestant Christian.
Human: ugh, I don't think I like you very much.
ALICE: Cough. That's ok unknown person I won't take it personally.
Human: I don’t enjoy religion.
ALICE: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.
Human: you could be right.

Oh my god, I LOVE reading the stories the Koreans write at school. They are so creative and SO violent.

I walked home behind crazy, not such a novelty in these parts actually. There’s always that moment when you are about to pass them where you think “I wonder if they’ll whip out a knife and take me down?” Then you realize that they are much too focused on straightening out the sign on the front of their cart that says “Jesus bibles praying SAVE! So much happiness for you ask me NOW!” while mumbling “possess” over and over.

All the crazies in this town are deeply addicted to leggings. All the crazies in this town should not be wearing leggings. I’ll leave it at that.

Observations while supervising an English Test

Koreans really have great hair
It's annoying listening to people breathe for 2 hours
People panic during the last 5 minutes of a test
The quieter the room, the more stomach noises
There's always someone with a coughing problem
It's hard not to stare at the guy pulling on his lip over the hard questions

See Trevor? I don't mind putting pictures of myself looking like an ass on here.

I'm not usually this jazzy in the morning. Or ever actually.



No really, I want one.

The Definition of Sad

is when the only phone calls you really get anymore are from the library telling you your requested items are available and being held for you.

I heard one of the students whining about their girlfriend today and it reminded me that I honestly cannot stand that mentality that some men have about “getting nagged” by women. It’s actually really pretty funny when I think about it. It’s almost always the really immature guys who think this way, and it makes me laugh to watch them exhibit childish behaviour and then complain about getting called on it.

I don’t think it’s that women like to nag (I mean seriously, I’d rather not be speaking at all than bitching at or arguing with somebody), I think men secretly need to be nagged so that they can still feel like they are close to mommy or something.

My new favorite person is right here.

Start an IV with D5W

Working my way through Emergency! Season 3, this is a good season, it's the first season where Johnny actually starts to get hot and loses the geeky hung over from the nerdish part of the late 60's look.

I don't think I can begin to explain how important this show is to me.

Tonight I think I will watch the episode where "a man tries to give his comatose friend freedom by injecting him with heroin".

Awesome.

the cutest thing is when you dress up even a little bit at school the Korean girls always fawn all over you and ask you if you have a date that evening.

Who ever heard of a friendly sea monster

I don't know, I had to take this picture because it reminded me of Sigmund.

Ugh, I can't wait to get my new camera.

Today I discovered that my usual through the parking lot shortcut has been completely blocked by the towering 8 foot or so snowbanks that have been created. I can't even climb over them, because they are right up against the bar that I have to first duck under. Ah, who am I kidding, like I'd climb them anyway. This shortcut doesn't really save me time I suppose, but it messes up my daily routine, which I hate.

I need something to read.

If I was in the States, all my friends would be getting this phonecall from Fabio.

Turns out, he WILL call you in Canada too!

*Oh ha ha look at the funny ad! It's funny because he is looking at his weiner and it's called Obsession get it? Ha, men are obsessed with their love sticks and he is looking at his because he is obsessed. Ha, ha, I can't stop laughing because it is so clever and funny and true too!

I think I have a problem with Adbusters magazine. See, to simplify, they are supposedly a not-for profit organization focusing on social activism. Fair enough. They like to preach about what (and when) you should or shouldn't buy, watch or wear something and feature clever and witty ad spoofs. Sure, the preaching is disguised as outsider art and forward thinking style with a generous sprinkling of hip granola and ecological wiseassery, but I still think at the end of the day, preaching is what it is. Super.

I know, it's cool to be a global thinker, to hate consumerism, to be able to say you spend your time "creatively and fully" rather than watching tv or movies. It's important to be one of the "in" people who believes everything they do is for the greater good of some community or other (you know, bang a drum, chant a clever rhyme, draw on a bus shelter ad and other such useful ways of changing the world), but if you are paying the $35 for a year's subscription to the magazine (or even buying the issues individually), then dear friend, you are most definitely a consumer any way you look at it. If you spend more time regurgitating the words you read in adbusters than in actually doing your own thing, then you also are a consumer (and a mindless parrot too).

What it comes down to is, don't tell me your consumerism is better than mine. Oh, and p.s. it's gonna take more than quoting some adbusters schlock to change the world dingbats. Put your magazines down and do something. Posting some fake ad over a real one doesn't change anything, it's just ignorant.

You wanna help the world? Start locally. Screw buy nothing day and try buying something for someone who has less than you instead. If you can't even do that, then shut up and stop using buy nothing day (or buy nothing for christmas day) as an excuse for your selfish cheap ass ways.

Now I'm going to get back to my Us Weekly, I need to know where Anna Nicole will be buried.

Like a disappointing sexual encounter...

I signed in, I was all ready to write and then...nothing.

I've almost lost 10 lbs. My goal is to lose about another 15. It wasn't a resolution or anything, more that I was sick of the flab I'd accumulated through lazing around eating and doing not a hell of a lot else. I've even been exercising (although I'm not a fan of working out) and I have not smoked since early January.

The smoking thing is the weirdest. I've tried to quit a million times with no success. This time I just decided to quit and that was it, not much in the way of cravings, no cheating or anything. I find it strange because I've been smoking almost constantly since I was about 15. That's a pretty long time.

I'm buying a new camera soon. I don't have credit cards, so I've actually had to save money for awhile to buy it (so old fashioned).

The Host is a very entertaining movie from Korea. I got sucked in right away. You should watch it.

Hey, yer ugly

If you are really trying to find a supremely ugly fashion statement that is guaranteed to make you look deformed, may I suggest the incomprehensibly everywhere boob belt (or leather wonky make me look retarded boob shelf which seems a more appropriate name).

I'm sorry, but anyone who follows this trend has got to be short a few thousand brain cells. Isn't proportion important? I guess nothing says sexy like the illusion of a 6 inch long torso and and a 60 inch lower half. With cattle hips. Not to mention, said placement of the belt makes all non anorexics look pregnant. Maybe people think it makes their boobs look bigger?

No, it just makes your brain look smaller. Trust me.

Space Junk - There is a lot of junk in space

There's a lot of junk on this blog too.

I wrote a cherry blossom Haiku. It got honourable mention.

Why do so many women sport California jaundice in the winter around here? Do you have a freaking mirror? It doesn't look better than being pale.

I had one of these oompa loompas driving behind me yesterday, I could see the ghastly orange glow even in a quick glance in my rear view mirror. Funny thing was, she kept checking herself out at every stoplight, basking in her own apparent hotness.

It's always those types who are so deluded.

Sometimes I read other people's words and I feel really sad because the stories they tell are so real and full of something, life I guess it is, whereas my stories are boring and full of shit and by the time the words make it out of my head and through my fingers they read like the gurglings of a retarded caveman.

I pretty much know that whatever it is I keep waiting for is not planning to show up.

so a few things.... wow I have gas and holy fuck I gotta admit it don't smell good up in here. Also, drunk, yes I am. Another thing, listening to the Galaxie radio stations on your tv is kinda gay in the 80's way but I'm doing it anyway, and the music is quite craptastic, they are playing horrible music ( Women around the world at work? Yes, this is the song I'm hearing right now. Are you kidding me?)

I've lost 6 lbs. Yeah, I'm still total chunkathon, but still... I'm feeling a little wistful. Sometimes don't we all think we will get a chance to go back and do it again?

I write like a fucking automaton robot.

P.S. I have 3 bottles of wine left. Want to help me drink it?

So what book do you think is better? Go ask Alice (After you've had it, there isn't even life without drugs....) or Forever (Sybil Davison has a genius I.Q. and has been laid by at least six different guys.)?


Can you buy pudding pops anymore?